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Post by kyuubi25 on Nov 30, 2011 10:46:32 GMT -8
Judgement Type: Single (Requesting) Location: Castle Net (Normal) Posts: 1 intro, No limit on battle posts. Story Version: On Version Bonus: On ------------------------
A navi, dressed all in black with spiky black hair and a sword strapped across his back, walks out of a local bar. Who is he? No-one knows, and few care. What does he want? Not much. He checks his messages once or twice, hoping to get one from someone he loves.
??:"C'mon Serix, I know you're out there somewhere.
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Post by Shast on Nov 30, 2011 17:00:30 GMT -8
[bgcolor=3d3d3d] (Challenge accepted.) Iria's Story version is 9. I also presume you mean Creamlands castle network. Is Jinko registered? That matters in this fight.
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Stars dotted the digital expanse that was the creamland sky, the hustle of nightlife and lights of the sprawling medieval metropolis betrayed the solemn peace the would-be-chilling night gave to her.
Iria's stroll took her down a street especially run down. Its dirt path laden with cobble, hoof prints, and the daring blades of grass as to drive home the era the city was built to mimic. Her mind aloft with thoughts of purpose, the loss of her ONB has sent her down the path of the wanderer, dispensing ruthless justice to the darkloids of the net on her own.
As she strolled, her eyes nonchalantly took to navis at random. Each navi visually profiled dispensed to her the navi's criminal record, their registration, and past dealings with officials. Although several citizens looked the part, none actually had any dealings to earn Iria's attention for the evening... save one.
Jinko: ---- Deletion of several Creamland guards. Possession of darkchips. Assault&battery ----- (I'd fill in more but you don't have an age, height, etc on your stats T_T)
Her eyes locked onto Jinko as she made her way too him. Her coat sleeves swayed with each step she made as her arms removed themselves from their crossed position on her chest, preferring to dangle her sides.
Upon reaching the navis front, as he checked his messages she cracked her knuckles, and adjusted her white hat so it sat proper, shading her eyes under the digital light post outside the bar.
Iria: You have been found guilty of various crimes against the ONB, and Creamland. I'm here to remove your pitiful self from existence.
Her words were as cold and ruthless as she was. While she spoke a couple passerby's turned their heads, eyes widened slightly at the words she uttered and began to run away shouting something about a darkloid in the city. Their words fell on deaf ears as the cities general livelihood drowned it out.
[1/??]
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Post by kyuubi25 on Nov 30, 2011 18:10:48 GMT -8
His eyes widened as he heard the one word...............ONB................
??: And who the hell are you? Some government watch-dog? I'm gettin' tired of you guys always trying to stick your noses in what everyone else does!
At this point he was beyond all viable concepts of anger. He pivoted on his right heel and punched at the un-named navi as hard as he could, the air-pressure itself carrying her several yards away as he drew his blade with his free hand, pointing it at her.
??: Today, you shall feel the pain of those you oppress. I, Jinko.EXE, Will deliver you into the hell that you and your kind have created for those around you!.
After his speech was fully delivered, a Swordy Appeared beside him. Jinko held his blade high as he charged non-elemental energy into it. Then, in a flowing arc, he brought the tip of it to the ground, releasing a wave of energy. He quickly switched weapons, sheathind his sword so that he could draw his signature custom Colt 45's, letting loose a wall of lead and heat as his partner rushed the other navi, and cut at her left leg.
Jinko: To live in peace is all that we ask, but people like the ONB could never understand that! All they want is to oppress us! To control us! Is that what you would call peace?!
Jinko combined his guns to form a sort of canon as he charged energy into it, releasing it in an ever-expanding beam.
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Post by Shast on Nov 30, 2011 23:08:29 GMT -8
[bgcolor=3D3D3D] Is that a yes to the registered question? >.>
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Filth, you wouldn't eve- Her words cut short by the sudden strike, a predictable motion. At least one of every four criminals does this. Something she had not braced herself for however, was the navis weight. In her zeal she hadn't gathered a footing to withstand a blow. So as she met the fist with open palm, she was moved back a few feet.
The virus for assistance was also another strategy darkloids used, at least this one had the common courtesy to join its minion in combat rather than watch and cower when it was scrapped. Iria leaped into the air landing a 5ft back, putting more distance between the two.
As the sword wielding foe approach for the swing, Iria slammed her palm onto its helmet, freezing the creature in its tracks. She made a spinning gesture with her finger as she knelt behind the creature, causing it to bear the brunt of the bullets in her stead.
Iria peered through between the swordy's arm and body to glance at the darkloid and observed him charging power with his pistols. Presuming the bullet filled shield wouldn't be able to withstand the blow as is, Iria ordered it into a blocking position. The swordy rose its sword arm to cover its face, of course. The energy poured over the virus, causing Iria to become naught but a silhouette. Several onlookers were now in a panic at the mass chaos that was ensuing on their streets. A couple of them having been struck by the blast and, another knocked to the ground.
Iria rose from behind her cover, gesturing to the crowd of scared and fleeing citizens around them.
See, I don't imagine trash like yourself to comprehend why we do what we do. Sometimes past results of your kind are required. This time, however, the presentation was dealt by your own hand.
Stepping around the now battle-worn virus, her coat caressing the suitable shield as she went towards Jinko; Iria began to charge a white aura in her right palm, and a red in the left. Once she was within 5 feet the of felon she rapidly spun once and shot off both orbs that had congealed in her palms. They flew like jello and upon contact seared the skin.
As she finished the first rotation, she threw herself at the darkloid and pushed him open palm to the face against the wall of the bar. Once against the wall she dragged him skull first along the wall chipping bits of it off as they went and muttered to him in a murderous whisper:
You listen, filth. Criminals get oppressed. Criminals get punished. Law-abiding citizens do not. Laws are in place to prevent chaos, like your public stint just now.
The end of the wall cut her short, she released her captive onto the ground back first and looked down on him with judgment in her eyes.
I imagine its hard to think right, mind corrupt from your loose darkchip usage; but try to think of a net where what you just did was more common place than it is. Where towns and cities like this are under more flak from darkloids like you and your rampant abuse of false fonts of power.
She adjusted her stance, cocking her hip slightly to one side thus resting mostly on her right leg and finished her statement, her volume increased, as to get the attention of the frightened onlookers, the maliciousness in her voice was replaced with brutal and commanding vigor.
I hunt darkloids like you so these people don't have to worry every time they walk down the streets of their own city about their survival. I destroy criminals like you because you've done something wrong to deserve it.
She finishes the sentence by nodding back to the grounded navi who was being rallied to his feet by other onlookers.
[2/??]
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Post by kyuubi25 on Dec 1, 2011 15:21:20 GMT -8
No, he isn't. ---------------
He narrowly escapes the blasts from the orbs, but is caught off guard by his head being slammed into the wall. He spoke with a sense of judgment in his voice, knowing that at least a few of these people were cheering him on.
Jinko: I get it, so just because I do a few wrong things, every right thing I've done in my life is just thrown out the window? This is exactly why I hate people like you. You people always use words like wrong and right but do you even know their true meaning? Probably not. You just say pretty words like justice, and peace, and right, to justify the things you do. No-matter what the cause, murder is still murder. Someone in a highly recognized office, whom steals from the common people is no less a thief.
He appears behind the woman. After inserting what seems like a chip into each arm, the DarkSwords appear and he slashes at her making a combined wave of dark energy, shaped like an X, explode forth.
Jinko:Those that know not the pain of loss, the suffering of those around them, they soon shall know it all too well.
He changes his stance once more, releasing a hail of gunfire as he does so.
Jinko:And you shall be the first!
He then raised his voice, speaking to the crowd without taking his eyes off of his opponent.
Jinko:People of Creamland, I ask you to hear me out. We Darkloids are not the true enemy. The ONB merely manipulates your minds, causing you to see us as such. Would a truly great government attempt to strike fear into the hearts of it's citizens? Would the Ideal form of government use pretty words like Wrong, Right, Justice, and Peace to control it's citizens? No, they would not. I have never once in my life brought harm to anyone that I did notpercieve to be a threat to my existence. All I do is for my survival, and to protect the ones I care about. The ONB is a flawed system. They are corrupted by power and money. Is this the type of government you want?!
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Post by Shast on Dec 1, 2011 22:37:49 GMT -8
[bgcolor=3D3D3D] Oh, good. Another reason for her to delete you.
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Jinko rose to his feet, speaking as he did so. His tone meant nothing to her, as did his words. As she was about to humor a response, he vanished. Appearing behind her with a subtle 'ffpt' noise being his calling card. The barely audible *click!* of chips rang through her ears as she spun arms to the ready to block what she presumed to be the go-to chip for darkloids: The darksword.
Her arms went in an X shape across the upper body as she took a readied stance, her footing in place this time. At her aid this time was no virus, but a veil of thin white light. She swords met them and ground to a halt, rebounding off as the veil faded, a testament to its strength.
The rebound must have caused the swords to disperse, not a moment was spared after the veil went down before Jinko had started spouting nonsense of 'loss' and 'suffering'.
Drawing his weapons once more he let loose a hail of gunfire upon her. With little time for thought, Iria's dove out of the way towards the crowd and away from the pub. She herself came out unscathed, her coat however had several bullet holes having been forfeited in favor of the much needed agility to avoid the bullet storm.
Jinko began to speak once more as Iria arose from her grounded position. Just as she was finishing getting up the darkloid uttered the words "flawed system". Without skipping a beat her slow ascent to a stand turned into a marathon runners dash out of the gate. Before he could deface the ONB any further she nailed him across the face with a solid right hook infused with enough fiery power it caused a small explosion engulfing his head and her wrist.
Shut your mouth, filth!
She finished the swift punch with a small spin to kick him in the ribs with her left leg, knocking him sideways. Her purple ponytail swaying hard enough to land over her shoulder and dangle over her chest as she did so.
As a matter a fact, yes. Your good deeds are worthless in my eyes. You committed 'murder' several times over in the name of 'survival' as you call it. Anything deemed a threat you say? The Creamland guard units you deleted were a threat? I can't imagine why. Perhaps BECAUSE YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG.
'Anything you perceive as a threat'? What kind of blasphemy is that? You have the gall to insult the Government and the ONB when you claim innocence using a flimsy turn of phrase like that? Here, let me spin that back you so you understand how stupid that really sounds:
Sarcasm was practically dripping from her mouth at this point, she continued by placing both hands on her hips yet remained tense, should he attempt another backstab maneuver.
I, the government, and the ONB, perceive you and all darkloids to be a threat to us and the security of the net. Removing you is key to our survival. We hunt, arrest, and delete you to protect the citizens we care about.
See how that worked? See how easily I spun that back at you?
Iria picked up the darkloids bullet dented and slightly charred swordy virus with both hands and in one swift swinging motion effortlessly smashed him over the head with it. Using the momentum from the first spin she catapulted herself into an overhead crushing blow onto Jinko.
And what of this thing? I've used it as a shield for both your assaults not but a moment ago, yet you've shown no concern for its well being. Do you not care for it at all? Your hypocrisy disgusts me and deleting you will be deliciously satisfying.
She finished the sentence by releasing her grip on the virus. Leaving it on top of the blade wielding navi while she ushered the remaining onlookers away with shooing hand gestures as to not be involved in the ensuing brawl.
[3/??]
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Post by kyuubi25 on Dec 1, 2011 23:23:17 GMT -8
((OOC: Just in case someone starts going on about "Navis not having blood", read my lips. NAVIS CAN BLEED. Got it memorized?)) ------------------------- The woman's words only further angered Jinko. He spat some blood at her, showing how disgusted he was by her actions.
Jinko: Well now lass, I gotta admit, yer good fer a brawl, but ye seem to be led astray far too easily. As for me pet here, he served me well, and I shall not have ye talkin' about him that way.
Jinko had to find a way to win. He had to get away, live to fight another day. It was far too soon for his deletion. He disappeared once more, this time using his blade to slash at her, then kicking her high into the air as his blade separated into 8 segments, which hung in the air around the ONB navi. He quickly jumped to the first blade and rebounded to all the rest, in the order in which they would fit together. Imagine, if you will, that an invisible wall had erected itself in the air, surrounding both navis and the blades. Jinko's feet would be pushing off of this non-existent wall, helping him to propel himself to the next blade. As the blade assembled itself, he slipped his two remaining darkchips into it, infusing it with a dark energy like no other. He appeared a few feet above Iria, releasing all this built up dark energy at her in one explosive wave.
Jinko: Yer good, but I'm far better.
((OOC: Technically it's 3 attacks, one normal + 2 DC, but I figured out a way to combine them all. Hey, this gives me an idea!))
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Post by Shast on Dec 4, 2011 8:14:47 GMT -8
[bgcolor=3D3D3D] Split personality of not, spontaneous things like that should at least be noted somewhere RP-wise in the post, to give readers an idea of what's happening. Also darksoul, you glow all dark and spooky. Describe that shenans! I didn't even know you were in it until your OOC comment.
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Jinko's spit landed short of Iria by a marginal distance, the slick red goop taking its place among the digital dirt and cobble. Iria's expression changed from judgmental and stern to confused and partially insulted as her foe began to speak with a foreign accent, disregarding what he said entirely.
The darkloid vanished once more, Iria having not noticed from her foes stellar attempt to disarm her. Before a reaction could be made she was cut down the back, her slender physique marred by the crude blade wielder. She let no whimper of pain escape her lips, not even as a follow up kick vaulted her into the air without any response from her.
Blades circled in the air with Iria as the epicenter. The lightmonger awkwardly placed her left hand on her back and the slash mark that had forced its way onto near bare back was removed with a gentler power than that which had put it there.
Her senses now fully back to her she glanced around to see Jinko catapulting around the air surrounding her. Once he rose above her he released the energy full power onto her. Without skipping a beat she motioned with her hands the same small barrier as before formed in front of her preventing the attack from hurting her, but not the advance of the ray. The dark wave and Iria were screeching towards the ground. Iria wedged her way to the left out of the stream of darkness just before touching ground, and landed in an upright crouched position glancing back up at Jinko, who was miraculously floating there.
The destruction caused by Jinko's assault made Iria's case of a darkloids inherit need for mass chaos even more concrete than it already was. Satisfaction welled with her in a sigh of relief that she had gotten rid of the bystanders not but a minute ago.
The signature glow of a failure of navi-kind permeated around Jinko the same way flies hover around trash Iria's disgust for him somehow grew even more. She rose to her feet and grabbed Jinko's virus once more to be her weapon of judgment with one hand. She leaped into the air not seeming to be slowed by the weight of dead weight she carried with her.
As she reached Jinko's height she set the virus on fire with the same hand that gripped it. Iria hurled the now flaming sword mace onto the darkloid and releasing it to travel with him as he plummeted to the ground with a ball of fire on his back to keep him going at blazing speeds.
*CRUNCH* The two devices hit the ground together, with Iria following suit landing right on top of the duo with a slam that shouldn't be feasible for someone of her weight. However this was the digital world, and 'feasible' held no ground here. The small crater created by Jinko and Gutts was made at least twice as big after Iria landed, she deftly jumped off while gripping the base of the still blazing virus yet again. However the punishment dealt to the unfortunate soul was too much for it, and it dispersed into data, fire and all while rising to the sky.
Her tone was harsh, blunt, and unforgiving. Her stance was the jaguar ready to pounce, waiting for the right moment when her prey would let even a sliver of an opening happen.
You reek of failure, your darkened form proves it. I will be the last thing you see, pain will be the last thing you feel. You will get no swift deletion, and you will get no trial. So don't bother finding solace in the hopes that either are the case...
Both her hands glowed with an hallowed white, with a red tinted mixture churning within. She gave him no time to rise, no time for retort. She made a light skip over to his freshly dug grave and grabbed him by the collar, adjusting him to her height which caused him to stand awkwardly as she was shorter than he*. The grin on her face showed devious intent while her eyes revealed anticipation.
She punched him with her free hand square across the face, and rebounded with a backhand just as quickly as the first had come. She following this motion by surrounding her freehand in light, which spiraled into a fine dagger-like point in front of her. She inserted the rotation hand dagger into the helpless navi, tearing away at his initial wound with no effort exerted by Iria herself.
Her glare remained the same yet her expression had morphed from a joyous grin to a slight grim frown. Seconds felt like eternities as she performed her cruel work by slowly moving the dagger to the left, then to the right.
The pain had to be unbearable and shortly after the second pass, it stopped. Iria had released the dagger to nothingness and just as relief could be felt, was replaced with something exponentially more cruel: magma.
In her hand Iria had taken the scraps of data the dagger had collected and heated it to volcanic temperatures, and placed the slag back inside the darkloid. Then she released him, letting him drop and kicking him with a light amount of force in the freshly molten wound. Forcing some farther into his systems, and small droplets onto the ground beneath the two and Iria's heel, which showed no signs of harm from the molten slag.
...Because I, am your executioner.
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*I'm just assuming Jinko is taller than 5'6. If not it'll be edited. to just picking you up.
How long did you want this to go? The ?? gave off the impression it would be long, but your darksoul so soon says otherwise.
I generally try to keep RP believable stat-wise(the avoiding and the heal thus far), but don't limit myself 'attacks' wise in that matter, though it is convenient to make use of your actual attacks and skills in RP. It helps flesh them out a lil better if they feel incomplete, and to make new attacks/skills out of the RP fight if you do something you like.
She HM'd this turn too, suppose you'll wanna know that as well.
[4/??]
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Post by kyuubi25 on Dec 4, 2011 9:11:05 GMT -8
((I never said he was in darksoul, I let the reader know when that happens by making it seem very Elaborate. .Also ??=Deletion. And I said DC not DS, i meant the darkchips I used to boost my attack.)) -------------------------------
Jinko started to glow as he spoke.
Jinko: You would pass judgement on someone you have only just met. You would use a helpless Virus as a weapon without caring if it lives or dies. You keep the people ignorant of your own crimes. For you, there is no salvation, only death.
Jinko was glowing a deeper black as he spoke, as it all but enveloped him. Before long, the whole area had gone dark.
Jinko: Welcome to hell!
Jinko faintly glowed in this darkness, which covered everything in the immediate area.
Jinko: Only those who have accepted the darkness in their own hearts can be here for long.
He raised his guns, firing off another hail of bullets at Iria. He then popped up behind her smacking the top of her head with the butt of his pistol. Then he moved off to the right, each sound he made echoing in this abysmal void, And charged dark energy into his combined gun-canon, releasing it at her once the charge reached 100%
Accept the darkness within yourself. It's the only way to survive here.
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Post by Shast on Dec 4, 2011 22:02:14 GMT -8
[bgcolor=3D3D3D] So it did, apologies. Till one of us goes then eh? oishk. Aight I'll be 'gentle' then.
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Iria's gaze never changed as the navi defied logic by standing without a wince of pain from the now literal gushing wound in his stomach. She flicked what little of it remained on her shoe off and crossed her arms while cocking her hips to one side. Her response was laden with sarcasm, and a dash of superiority.
I don't have to know you to know your crimes, trash. I admit to the crime of not having deleted everyone of your kind every time I walk the streets and find another of you strutting about.
She scoffed at the thought: Death, from this hypocritical darkloid? If she should find obliteration let it be through means more honorable than that. As she chuckled, the entire area faded to black. Her fiery light illuminated her in this place, as Jinko's black form blended right into the new surroundings.
Bullets erupted from no where, her reaction speed unsullied in this black but surreal environment she was quick to avoid the barrage in a roll, yet succumbed to rolling into the pistol grip. She rolled once more to get away from further abuse while rubbing her head with her free hand only to see out of the corner of her eye a small glowing purple across the null zone.
Must be that beam from before... she thought to herself as she formulated her plan. She stood up and within the palm of her right hand a tennis ball sized orb of condensed light was forming. She bode her time waiting for the right moment to hurl the ball at him, mimicking the style Strikeman used during the desert affair in Netfrica not long ago.
Just as the cannon looked ready to fire Iria threw the ball directly into it, causing the cannon to fire but having its beam dispersed in all but the intended direction and causing a large explosion at its source.
You melodramatic aberration, we don't have hearts. her voice was cold and cruel as she sniped the sentence off.
She followed up in the same tone:So, won't live long in here eh?
She moved to grab him by the neck, nearly choking him outright as she did so while she dragged him down to eye level once more. Guess we better leave then.
She spun him around twice before hurling out of the void zone followed by a quick *CRASH*. Iria presumed she had thrown Jinko into the pub, the sound happened too quickly to be anything but that as she leaped out of the zone herself and back into the lit backstreets of Creamland.
Once out she grabbed Jinko by the hair on his head and forced him a semi upright position, slag still leaking out of his innards, spreading like the plague within him. Once checked for it Iria released his hair but grabbed both arms and leaped up and over him, bringing the arms with and forcing them to a near breaking point as she forced him onto his knees or risk having his arms broken, thus allowing her to put one foot on the ground and dig the other ones heel into his back.
She began to apply force against the darkloid, pulling down on both arms nearly snapping them while digging into the navis back with the base of her shoe's near flat heel keeping him upright against his bodies protests.
She continued this process on the darkloid, attempting to either rip his arms off or break them. Grunting every few moments as she applied even more pressure to the already strained limbs.
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[5/??]
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Post by kyuubi25 on Dec 4, 2011 22:42:08 GMT -8
Jinko: Looks like it's about that time. I'll be seein' ye soon Serix.
Jinko's entire being went limp. His eyes? Blank. As he fell to the ground, he seemed to burst into small bits of data, which then rose upward into the air. As the area seemed to shimer, all the damage he had caused seemed to repair itself.
A faint voice would call out to Iria: Remember why you fight.
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Post by Shast on Dec 5, 2011 22:34:21 GMT -8
[bgcolor=3D3D3D] Erm, wasn't expecting that, but alrighty.
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In one final burst of energy Iria finally managed to snap the darkloids arms with gut wrenching *crackk* then *rrip* as the limbs came off entirely. Not a moment after she did they dispersed into a burst of data trickles, her foe deleted at last.
The words reverberated in the area for a moment, falling on deaf ears as Iria put the name 'Serix' to memory. Another target for another day. For now, she grabbed her coat off the ground and inspected the bullet holes. After doing so she hung the coat over her shoulder using one of her hands as a hook to keep the coat from falling.
Observing the area while it was fixing itself she opted not tell the pub owner what had happened and instead chose to continue her walk down the backstreets of the Castle network, profiling random navis as she so often does.
---
[6/n/a] Guess that means we're done an ready to be judged then.
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Post by Snakeskin on Feb 29, 2012 4:06:04 GMT -8
Well, this wasn't easy to judge, what with the torrent of mistakes, OOC comments, and OOC comments about mistakes. Nonetheless, I apologize for the delay.
Style: Shast's style was rather consistent, characterization was firm, and although there were some errors in grammar and and awkward phrasing, which was a bit distracting and sometime made things hard to follow, but this was not the norm. Much of it did seem a bit dry, however - it could have used some more flavor text.
Jinko was all over the place. That's inherent in his character, I suppose, but as Shast correctly pointed out, there really should be some sense of flow or transition. As it stands, his side of the battle feels a bit disjointed. That said, there's some improvement over the last time I graded one of his battles, and the posts at least all make sense. Like Shast, Jinko's text was also quite dry (when it wasn't overblown melodrama).
Shast: 21 / 30 Senka: 15 / 30
Articulation: Both combatants have a similar thing going on here; there are plenty of details for things like attacks - with a few exceptions, such as "He appears behind the woman" - but little in the way of anything to establish mood. The exception to this is Shast's opening post, which does a very good job of setting the scene. Beyond that, however, most of the detail either felt like it was there because it had to be or that it was overexplaining things and shouldn't have been present at all. Shast wins this section for the very good and promising opening, but I can't say I wasn't a bit disappointed by the rest of the battle.
Shast: 15 / 20 Senka: 12 / 20
Balance: Story version was on for this battle, and that's what really screws Senka over. At his highest, Jinko's story version was v6. Iria, as stated, was v9 at the time of the battle. To keep it short, Jinko took Iria's attacks in stride far too often. At that version difference, taking these attacks should have been devastating. It seemed like he was playing as a version-matched navi or above, especially since he often didn't bother to mention taking them. Offensively, however, he did a good job of not seeming overpowered.
Shasticus is guilty of assuming quite a few attacks were successful, but that is somewhat justified by the version difference. It doesn't excuse it entirely, but it helps relative to Senka's problems with balance.
Shast: 16/20 Senka: 10/20
Length: I had problems with both players here, but on opposite ends of the spectrum. As previously mentioned, Senka failed to respond to many attacks in his posts. He also overly simplified a good deal of the action. His introduction also could have used a good deal of fleshing out. They were easy to get through but could've used more substance.
On the other hand, I felt that Shast's posts went on too long. There was too much direct response to and reiteration of Senka's posts for my tastes. This also plays into the articulation and style sections - aside from the intro, Shast's posts are largely expository. This happened, then this, then this and it was this big. I found most of them hard to read through because there were long passages that were quite pedestrian, without anything to catch my eye or hold my interest. Reading long descriptions of things like distance, attack force, and body movements in such plain and unembellished language starts to feel like homework after a while. My problem is not so much the length itself, but the way it's used - it could have been longer if there was more in the way of creative description, wordplay, humor or the like. But with this relatively dry style it could and should have been shorter.
Shast: 4 / 10 Senka: 5 / 10
Emotion: Both navis displayed a lot of emotion, but this section is about quality, not quantity - and Iria's emotions came across far more convincingly. Having a flair for the dramatic is fine, but too often Jinko's dialogue was so over-the-top it no longer sounded like something anyone would actually say. The sudden shift into an alternate personality with zero lead-in or transition didn't help matters.
Some of Iria's dialogue was similarly a bit overblown, but most of it was far more believable considering the situation she was in. The way it's written really allowed me to feel her anger. Jinko, on the other hand, just seemed like he was reading lines from a mediocre anime script.
Shast: 9 / 10 Senka: 5 / 10
Judge Points: I use this section as an average of previous scores. Shast: 7 / 10 Senka: 5 / 10
Final Grading: Shast: 72 / 100 (B) Senka: 52 / 100 (C)
Shast also gets 15 version bonus points, not that it matters in this case as he's already won and they don't affect letter grades.
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Base Rewards:
35 EXP / 350z to Iria 60 EXP / 600z to Jinko
Why yes, this is ridiculous. I'll need to bring it up to someone.
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