|
Post by kyuubi25 on Nov 19, 2011 10:09:21 GMT -8
Jinko: Well, it would seem we've reached a stalemate.
He walked up to Opera to shake her hand.
Jinko: I don't really like the whole "deletion game" myself. I'd prefer it if we could be friends, rather than enemies. That earlier was just a test to guage your strength. While you might not be physically strong, your mental prowess is rather formidable.
Really, He just wanted it to be over. He had grown bored during the fight, merely feigning interest.
Jinko: The name's Jinko, and yours is?
|
|
|
Post by Opera Staccato on Nov 19, 2011 10:52:42 GMT -8
Opera is confused that someone would offer his hand for a handshake to someone who doesn't currently have a visible hand. She brushes it off as him being a fool.
Opera: My name is Opera Pianissimo Staccato. Also, DarkSoul is temporary, so we can continue attacking soon. Normally, it'd then be the first Navi to get a good hit in, but we both have the regenerative abilities necessary to keep fighting for a bit afterwards.
Opera was taken aback at an offer of being friends, given the number of bullets still on the ground that were formerly put into her body.
Opera: Anyway, deletion isn't actually permanent, so no hard feelings, okay? I'm just doing it because I can. It'll be over soon; I promise.
(7/8)
|
|
|
Post by kyuubi25 on Nov 19, 2011 12:41:43 GMT -8
Jinko: Right, I guess that's just how it is.
Jinko's Darksoul faded as he jumped backwards and began his unyielding barrage of bullets.
Jinko: No matter what happens...
He dashed at her, knocking her into the air again with his finishing attack. With this, it would be over. He dashed around her in the air, from blade to blade, piecing his sword together and slashing at her as he did so.
Jinko: There's no hard feelings.
He landed on the ground and lit a cigarette.
Jinko: thanks for makin' it fun.
|
|
|
Post by Opera Staccato on Nov 19, 2011 13:33:48 GMT -8
Opera seems to take the bullets, but draws the line at being finished off. The initial launcher that would lead to her end passed right through her as if she weren't there, and due to the peculiar mechanics of Jinko's combo, all the slashes are avoided as well.
Opera: Fun? I'm still waiting for closure. It needs to be more than just 'fun' for me.
And with that, she makes her last attempts to delete her foe.
(8/8, still needs a judge)
|
|
|
Post by Vilicious on Nov 29, 2011 11:46:23 GMT -8
I've never actually judged before. PREPARE FOR JUDGMENT.
-Jinko- Version: 5/5
Style: 15/30 Location given. Location didn't matter. Nice moves, but your articulation proved detrimental to what could be AWESOME... if a bit cliche. You entrance into DarkSoul was a lacking, as well, and you may have received Style, Articulation, AND emotion points if it had been "he was hoping Opera would not expect". Speaking of cliche, I'll just gesture to some of your lines. It was hilarious, and added well to the banter, though, so it isn't that bad. All you need is a little more emotional consistency and some OP stats and you'll be just like our last Cloud clone, Inertia.
Articulation: 10/20 Points lost on... -"Sort of", "would", "literally intending", "a certain point". Is there another way to intend? I feel like you have the potential here for some great RP, but the insecure 'statements' about what you're doing are weakening it all. Next time you go to post, take a step back. Hit Preview. Reread. Any place you see these vagaries and unsure positions, delete them. Make them sure, expound on what you have there. "sort of flowing" could be "flowing -He draws his blade (without description) and then doesn't use it but instead punches and then draws guns (plural) without losing the blade (which he then uses next post, without losing the guns).
Balance: 15/20 Stayed relatively true-to-version. Took attacks (I realize you didn't have much to work with) and refrained from god-moding for the most part... all in all, an improvement.
Length: 5/10 Sharing this between the two of you. See below.
Emotion: 4/10 "Nothing mattered anymore". That's incredibly nihilistic for someone who was just asking for fun. Jinko wanted to train, and suddenly didn't care? You play with the emotion, but the pendulum swings in too many directions and not hard enough in any... and then you offer friendship after nothing mattering, accede to her statement that it isn't over, and say it was fun. Wut?
Judge: 3/10 See below.
-Opera- Style: 13/30 Same statement about location. Even if you don't respond to the attacks, it is still in better form to interact with them in RP. First post, you state you take them. You dust off. A punch and a pair of .45s can surely warrant some form of impact. Perhaps you've been riddled with holes, or a dent appears in your inanatomical armor (yup, new word there). Your post number 4 also didn't help this. And neither did citing stat mechanics. I do like the banter, though. Your typical tone of condescension plays well with this sort of navi, as I'm sure you're aware.
Articulation: 8/20 Disintegrating a navi's data could be reeeeeally cool in how's it's played out. Just saying it happens feels inadequate and really is going to either leave your opponent AND you out points, or they'll get points for compensating for your lack of articulation on what exactly's happening. "Starting to show" and "being smug" are incredibly vague statements compared to the potential facial details and damage notes that could be here. Note to both of you: Things like this dock points from both Style and Articulation.
Balance: 13/20 "Deleting" is a little strong of a term for stripping their data. I mean, ultimately, that is what you're doing, but if it isn't finished or if you don't succeed, it's no longer such. The way you took attacks and didn't really give him anything to work with on attacks besides "deleting" did not help you here. Fairly true-to-version.
Length: 5/10 Inconsistent, at best. Short posts should be reserved for reprieve between both navis, not for lazy attacks.
Emotion: 5/10 Opera's Opera. Stating you were worried honestly kinda hurt you instead of helped, here... are the stakes so high in some strange capacity that it warrants worry? Also, smugness. Why be smug? This doesn't matter, anyway, it's just a training fight. For you, this is more a grade on "dedication to indifference". Generally, and this is for both of you, everything but the banter felt like a string of statements with some blatant attempt at maybe eking out some Emotion points. It's not very effective.
Judge: 3/10 As stated, the banter is good, and for both of you. It played well, if a little starchy. The lackluster style and articulation hurt what you both have the potential to make: a 10. Points here were also lost on grammar (Jinko) and tense-switching (Opera), otherwise this would have been a 4 or 5.
Totals: -Jinko: 57, C rank, [100/1000] -Opera: 47, C rank, [80/800]
Jinko wins! Finish it for the extra exp/zenny.EDIT: Whoops, forgot story-V EXP/Zenny thing
|
|
|
Post by Shast on Nov 30, 2011 14:40:11 GMT -8
Kill him, deal the killing blow and give in to the temptation of gold! Savor the blissful sound of their data as its pulled away to parts unknown and relish in the spoils of your victory.
|
|
|
Post by kyuubi25 on Nov 30, 2011 15:35:54 GMT -8
(OOC: wow, and i thought that tox was "the bad guy")
Jinko brings his sword up in an arc, releasing a wave of energy at Opera when it hits the ground.
"Thanks for the memories."
(OOC: I love that song!)
|
|
|
Post by Shast on Nov 30, 2011 15:52:16 GMT -8
*sits back in throne and sighs disappointingly* A fine blow, brief and merciful. You are a kinder soul than I by leaps and bounds.
*tosses 50100z down at Jinko* (exp is hax and just happens!(it's 10 total exp btw))
|
|