Post by Hellbreaker on Nov 14, 2015 17:22:43 GMT -8
Fulgur glances around, curious. Strange....where was he? He'd been walking...Shaking his head, the young navi shrugs, his cloak rippling. He'll figure it out. Ful nods once, then heads down the path...
He eventually runs into Legion."You?" He crouches slightly, eyeing the navi warily. He didn't know weither the darkloid had gotten...gentler..when they last met.Still...he was the only Ful had come across."I...I-I don't s-suppose you would mind t-telling me where we are?"
Post by Hellbreaker on Nov 15, 2015 6:54:09 GMT -8
Fulgur blinks."His......who's t-this he?" Then Legion comes to a conclusion. As he holds his hand towards the navi, Ful deploys his weapon and helmet eyes narrowing as he enters the battling state of mind."Fine.If you want a fight, I'll give you one.But if I'm still living, you'll be telling me about this place."
Lightning crackles along the teeth of the wolf, and he watches the darkloid warily, waiting for the first attack.
Post by Hellbreaker on Nov 15, 2015 15:09:22 GMT -8
Fulgur sees the wave, and crouches behind a suddenly there shield,protecting himself from the attack.As it,like usual, cracked apart and faded the young navi trains his buster on Legion, unleashing a flurry of shots as he runs closer.
Stomping at the darkloid's foot, he punches towards the gut, following up with a slash to the right arm.Cloak whirling, Fulgur jumps with a spin and aiming a elbow at the mouth.
Post by Hellbreaker on Nov 15, 2015 21:47:17 GMT -8
Fulgur's eyes blink in surprise. No effect? How...He continues onto his other attacks.No big deal...Just kick this guy's butt.Yelping as the darkloids teeth break past the thinner armor on his harm, the navi glares at Legion.Then too latches onto Ful.
"what is it with you and trying to trap me..Gah!!!"He winces as the sword pierces through, shuddering and raising his free arm to smack him between ears with a kopis.Then red lighting courses into him.Shuddering, Fulgur drops down the stairs, and lands with a groan as data leaks out. This...hurt...Taking a Breath, the young navi repairs enough that he's able to stand. Forming a spear of lightning, he tosses it directly at Legion.
Post by Hellbreaker on Nov 16, 2015 8:40:09 GMT -8
Fulgur fires another shot, then his eyes widen, seeing the beam. He tenses, ready to dodge...but too late. Explosions blast him, and he cries out, flying backward and skidding along the cobblestone, his armor sending up sparks as it screeches, leaving marks on the path.
The young navi chokes, wincing.Oh man...that...that really,really hurt...M-maybe he should give it...a break, and rest...His eyes start to drift closed, then he shakes, jerking them back open. No...He was done being this guys punching bag. Standing up with a groan, Fulgur sighs as his heavily dented armor creaks, and adjusts the tattered remnants of his cloak so they're out of the way.
He glares at Legion, only to blink at the state the darkloid was in, feeling a brief flash of sympathy.."You...you idiot!!What did I do to make you despise me enough to target me so often, to force yourself to fight so hard you're going into decay?!? Whatever it is, its not worth deleting yourself!!"
Post by Hellbreaker on Nov 16, 2015 20:58:45 GMT -8
Fulgur blinks, his own golden eye staring back."I'm too kind hearted?...." He grits his teeth, then responds."Are you really that much...of a spiteful jerk...that you can't stand to see good in something?! What's the point in such a existence?!? Destroying everything around you...What about when there's nothing left?!"
Then Legion fires again. Narrowly dodging with a roll, the young navi pops back up with a stagger, aiming his buster on the darkloid."If I have to kick your butt to make you stop hurting yourself and others, fine!!" Firing charged shots, he runs forward, aiming to strike disabling cuts with a large blade.
Post by Hellbreaker on Nov 16, 2015 22:39:45 GMT -8
"If you're so far from seeing good, then how am I kindhearted?!?What happened, to make you so angry at this world?!?" Sparks fly as their swords clash, and as Legion parries his blade Ful tries to push it back up, but stops as the current runs again."Men like you can always change!! Come with me!"
Then he's pierced through, too stunned to counter. Crying out, Fulgur hisses in pain from both the blade and the light. Blinded, he instinctively uppercuts Legion's jaw, staggering back and weaving in place, his form flickering. Falling onto one knee, the young navi points at where he thinks Legion is, flickering some more."R-remember our...deal...."
Overall, This Battle is very fast pace, and is a change and unique in itself. That being said, It was enjoyable, even Imo, slightly short. Anyway Marks:
Style: L: 24/30 F: 24/30
Overall, Not bad. different. It was a decent read, but it lacked some information on backround information that would have made this more relevant. Like the "Remember our Deal," Line. Both of you needed to put a bit more into the battle overall. A finishing outro too, would have been able to secure a few extra points here. I feel that things are missing.
Articulation: L: 16/20 F: 14/20
Legion has a slight edge due to the fact he has slightly better spacing and understandability. There was a gap here: the specifics on both of you to explain certain aspects: The surroundings, the background... Etc. Fulgar, Please double check your spacing between words, sentences and paragraphs please. That was something I notice in your posts that If you could eliminate, to make things slightly easier to ready, I would gladly give you more points for, as the fusion of some of words does mess with my mind.
That being said, some of the positive here is with this face passed battle you both were specific with some of the damage received and attacks. The pace of the battle was also worth gaining points, because It was somewhat inclusive.
Balance: L: 18/20 F: 18/20
It was fairly balanced. I understand both concepts of navi style. I felt that for the attacks, certain should have done more, some less. But overall, Not much complaint. Good job.
Length: L: 8/10 F: 7/10.
Again, Could have used more to this. As stated before, Some things needed more description. But Legion did have slightly longer posts.
Emotion: L: 9/10 F: 9/10
I liked the emotion from both Characters. It was pretty well played. Just a bit short though.
JP: L: 5/10 F: 8/10
I feel that this battle needs to be a Tie. For 3 reasons: 1. How I feel this battle turned out. And 2: I've Judged your battles before, and I feel that the rank associated is appropriate. Finally, 3: Because this rivalry, I can see vast improvement in the next battle, in both skill and emotion from you two as RPers. It reminds me a bit of Rem and I.