Ion felt more than heard Fulgur get up and grab the trapped entity. Only opening his eyes to the barest slits to see the rough outline of Gula’s white prison nestled between the silhouetted black fingers of Fulgur, he let his eyes close once more, assured that it had been contained.
A smile flitted across his lips as he heard Fulgur growls, growing in volume until the shouts rang in his ears. This guy was incredibly kind. ‘Train harder than you ever hope to have to fight. Because the day will come when everything may be all that you can give. And we must not be found lacking…’ these thoughts pushed to the front of his mind, but he just couldn’t find the strength to vocalize them anymore. The burning sensation had grown sharper until it pressed oppressively against the protective void within his mind. Much like he had done to Gula the pain was forcing him mind to retreat further and further in on itself. Indeed, if he had done that in Sharo, Ion would have been in heaps of trouble.
With a final burst of energy from his fragmented body, Ion spoke to Fulgur and immediately opened a Comm channel to Vince who would no doubt be in transit during this hour of the day. “Doesn’t hurt Ful. Less than Gula winning.” Though he wanted to warm his words with kindness, they came out clipped and short, each a struggle that seemed to lend credence to his belief that the alternative made the outcome well worth the cost. Speaking now to his operator, Ion left a message that would be received as soon as Vince checked his notifications, which these days seemed like ALL THE TIME.
“Help. Bring navi beside and white ball. Don’t open.” With the soft, steady breathing of Fulgur dozing beside him, still kneeled yet upright, Ion let his mind recede back into the void. Losing himself in the sweet relief of unconsciousness once more.
Not seconds later a screen opened above Ion’s body and the concerned face of Vince could be seen peering into the network. A single eyebrow quirking upwards as he took in the devastation of the first floor store and the strange vigil that Fulgur seemed to be holding over Ion, both deeply unconscious by this point. Wiping a hand over his face as he immediately began creating a checklist of all the things that he would need to do once he got off this accursed city-train, ’Wipe security footage, extract any remnant bug data, run a simple sweeper script on the store to erase the lion’s share of evidence, perhaps even restore the store counter? Whatever happened here Ion, ya better have some good stories from it.’ With a wry smile he operated his PET and selectively warped Fulgur, the white orb and Ion out of the network, siphoning them through a glitch portal to Ion’s home network. Discipline. Murmuring to himself, ”Let’s get you guys home for some rest.” Within Discipline they would heal and reconvene later to deal with the outfall of their actions. Once he got home and heard the full story they would better be able to figure out what should be done to the store, especially since nobody seemed to want to be the first to step back into the feasting grounds of Gula, there didn’t seem to be a rush.
Guys, This was quite an entertaining read for sure! I enjoyed it. Sometimes, scenarios like this are a good "taste" from a normal battle. I just want to say, I am impressed! Improvement everywhere! I'll get right down to it!
Style: Ion: 29/30 Ful: 27/30
This was very well done! Overall in both aspects. Ion, you were pretty much flawless, a sentence or two that seemed started, yet not completed. The First sentence of the secondary Intro for example. Great use of wording, length was great, and very fluid. I do enjoy your RP. Ion has always been a navi I enjoy reading. Ful, very well done! As I stated earlier, you have improved on your RP quality over the past few battles, including our own! A few mistakes here and there, Mainly grammar, but I'm proud of you! I'm giving high marks here all around for this. I will eventually want to judge a rematch between the two in a 1 V 1 battle as a testament to your growth!
Articulation: Ion: 20/20 Ful: 20/20
Ion: You describe things wonderfully. You should be proud. I can always visualize exactly what is going on, and it's always colorfully done. No complaints. Ful: Vast improvement. I can visualize nearly everything going on, and it is like a movie. I am impressed! Wonderful job with describing Fulgar's change within Gula.
Balance: Ion: 20/20 Ful: 20/20
Okay. Here is where I had to decide how to do this. With a battle like this, I find it more difficult to Judge this section, because of the way my mind works. I decided that There was enough damage taken on both sides here to account for equality. It was done very well, and I think you both earned max points, especially because I had to work a bit more to decide on the damage distribution. Lol.
Length: Ion: 10/10 Ful 10/10
Very well done Length wise. No complaints. Ful, Much better than the last one! I am proud!
Emotion: Ion: 10/10 Ful: 10/10
Very well done on both sides. I like the utilization of Vance at the end here, Ion. That was a great add, and would get you bonus points if I could allow them. Balancing between Gula and Fulgar was very well done! transitional emotions between the two back to back is a difficult thing to portray, in my opinion, and I gave you full credit for doing a great job with it.
Judge Points: Ion: 9/10 Ful: 9/10
I am taking off 1 point because of the overall grammar in some places. I felt that this battle was worth almost 100% here, but I mainly used JP here in terms of Overall instead of personal. Again, that is due to this being a different type of battle. Ful: Spacing. You had many places where there was missing spaces between words. Also, please use 3 Dots max, and please consider using quotes or something. There were too many periods in some places. Overall, a wonderful battle to both.
I know I can be a grammarish person, and that is due to my Bookworm Nature, and the fact my Queen is a grammar nazi. I am not perfect, nor do I pretend to be the best grammar d00d out there. I mainly have issues when it interrupts my read flow.