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Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2014 9:54:22 GMT -8
Posts: 1,5 Set Version: 1 Location: Elysium Judgement: Single
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Post by ~Divine|<3|Heart~ on Nov 11, 2014 21:53:17 GMT -8
///Kathy-&-Basty///
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Instability was not enough to stop Bastet...
Even with the surroundings consisting of a beautiful night atmosphere hovering as its own land in the sky, it was not enough to divert the cat girl’s attention. Cat NetNavi’s eyes shifted left to right as they caught the key features of the battleground that was Elyisum: A few floating pieces of cobblestone strips imbedded in grass and soil was float in the sky as if they were misplaced in creation. The occasional building that was within the remnants of night network were completely abandoned.
At this point, such a “paradise” was nothing short of a nightmare after a rapture.
However, her mark was here! Katherine’s orders were absolute for the humanoid feline that walked about the area on her hind legs and long sword-like nails scrapping at the occasional walkway to uncover anything shining or glistening to the eyes. However, that did not help her find anything she wanted...anything she desired...
"Mreow!~ Helloooo!~" She cooed, "Come out so I can delete you! It makes things much easier! MreooooooW!~"
With a beastly look in the cat-girl’s eyes that done anything but compliment the cheeriness in her voice or the sound of her chiming golden bracelets that played a serene melody when she moved, it was obvious she craved a certain rush! The exhilaration of a fight was what driven her, and whether she received it or not, the bloodlust would probably take priority and let her bring back her mark non-alive. With that, she walked aimlessly through Elysium, waiting for the only life that was within this small place that she was to take!
Tournaments were nice, but she came simply follow orders; but that did not mean she could not sharpen her nails on flesh and bone while she was at it.
________________________________________________________ “We’re so good that its’ cut throat! Meow!”
Now Playing: ----- Chatty Ditz:
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Post by Phen on Nov 11, 2014 23:41:54 GMT -8
The navi wandered about the tournament battlegrounds. He had taken some time off so the boss man said to enter this to get back in the swing of things. Fair enough, the prize was worth entering and the opponents were sure to be a fair test. At least thats what he was told.
The navi rounded the corner into the main road in the paradise. Even as a floating city this place was still once a city, and despite its now well lit roads the same bleak darkness permeates some of the buildings. A slight breeze passed through the road, blowing the navi's straight, shoulder length auburn hair so it swayed slightly. The navi's clothing, much like more recent navis, was human-like in nature. Grey pants with wide legs, stopping just above the ankle, flowing in the breeze. A black Gi over what seemed to be the only remnant of a normal Navi's structure, a skin-tight covering of the the chest area, with what seemed as if human skin on the arms. At his side a simple looking blade in an olive sheath. It seemed to be fastened quite well, as it moved little as the navi himself moved.
The navi ended up not too far off from Bastet herself, he turned to look at her, acknowledging her as his most likely opponent. Turning to face her, the navi looked into the eyes of his opponent with his own, gentle yet judgmental azure eyes.
"I assume you are my opponent then? I believe the tournament said your name was Bastet?"
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Post by ~Divine|<3|Heart~ on Nov 12, 2014 10:53:42 GMT -8
///Kathy-&-Basty///
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“Mreow! That’s meeee!~”
The fine feline was ecstatic movement as she was in tone She jumped from foot to foot delighted as she seen Flare! She was happy like a happy dog that just missed their master...something opposite to her nature. The celebration did not last long as the last jump to the left hand led to her entire body dropping to the ground lowly. The front paws of the NetNavi and her long nails trapped against the cobblestone walkway she stood upon. Her dark lochs of pink hair rested barely coveting her eyes that opened revealing a vicious gaze and its matching murderous grin shown through her teeth.
“You’re late! Kitty does not like it when she is kept waiting! So, neither does Basty!”
Her eyes had a stare that mostly would make anyone be subdued by her glance, and her movements were like a dulling drug. Her nails scratching at the ground as she pulled back at claws were like a piercing arrow that would thrust itself into the ears and make the ear lobe be brought to a world of agony from hearing the screeching they made. Not to mention the clicking and clanging of the jewelry that adorned her body that chimed a lovely tune! All while Bastet made brief conversation with her mood going from a puzzling cheeriness to a malevolent murderous in a quick second.
"Basty's sooooo excited!~ She can't wait to begin!"
Continuous movements of the hips were like watching a hypnotist's pendulum sway to and fro, her scratches and chiming was melodious to the ears. Even if the sounds were somewhat painstaking with the scratches, it was like a good song that kept playing in your head and got better the more you were exposed to it, and not to mention there was the very aroma of flora that would come to mind with each movements Bastet made.
Whether Flare was aware of it or not, he was already being assaulted by Bastet’s mesmeric and debilitating method of battle. Her ability to assault the senses and overload the brain was her method of provocation that would draw in her opponent, but ultimately not let them know that their strikes would be weaker. So her movements continued, her sounds played over and over, and her eyes kept that beguiling stare.
“Come on! Do you not want to fight? Basty is tired of waiting...and she just might come and get you!”
Bastet’s glare was still there, but this time she showed her fangs with a smile that made her look like a beast, regardless of her pampered appearance of a Persian. The sleek cat put one paw forward, dragging it back slowly and slightly as she dragged out the screeching sound admitted by her paw, intending to make the sound of her scratching even louder.
________________________________________________________ “We’re so good that its’ cut throat! Meow!”
Now Playing: ----- Battle Post Count: O.N.E. Chatty Ditz: ...can’t find any good music for this battle. Hmm. Suggestions?
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Post by Phen on Nov 12, 2014 14:38:59 GMT -8
(Also how's This sound)
The navi's dance was enticing,Flare blinked and fought to control his consciousness from being overtaken by the wistful movements and melodic ringing. He began to fall forward but moved a single leg to stop himself from dropping to the ground. Shaking his head to try and gather some bit of sense into his head. He couldn't have been this rusty, the fight was just beginning and already he was being pulled into this state...
And yet he succumbed. Flare's eyes grew empty and his body slumped into a more relaxed position. His hand came to his sword, his stance deepened, and his lifeless eyes looked toward Bastet.
Then he was gone. Seemingly vanished from sight entirely. He appeared behind Bastet, his eyes still as if Flare was gone from them. Two ghostly blades flew at the cat like navi, and despite no warning, a feeling washed over her Bastet that something else was coming. A vision pierced her mind and for a split second, she could feel a burning pain in her side, followed by a series of cuts all almost from all directions.
Just as the vision ended, that which was foreseen found its way into reality, with Flare simply standing behind Bastet with his back turned, his eyes complacent turned down with his head to look down once more upon Bastet, his blade still in its sheath, though it seemed to be glowing slightly. It would seem he was completely under her spell, and though his attacks had been weakened, they were numerous and quick.
Flare simply looked upon Bastet with scornful and empty eyes, but spoke no words to the catlike navi.
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Post by ~Divine|<3|Heart~ on Nov 13, 2014 0:44:03 GMT -8
///Kathy-&-Basty///
________________________________________________________
She liked that look in Flare’s eyes.
The way Bastet looked to the swordsman was like any other: an affectionate lover ready for a forbidden dance. Even as Flare vanished from sight, to the eyes of Bastet, it was as if it was a very quick sprint. Her head turned as part of her hair blinded a complete vision of Flare, that part sweeping from her face the moment the quick sprint had left a breeze. There was not a flinch, but a chill that ran down the cat’s spine. The images of her mind being cut in her mind was there, and they matched with elegant twists and turns of her body. Where there would be a precise cut, her nails acted as swords that met with a scrape and scratch that would parry his ghostly blades. The burning in her side? It was like a cat in heat as she looked for the pleasure of the battle and this NetNavi’s whirlwind movements to cool her down.
To anyone’s eyes but the two combatants, it would look like Flare simply made one move to get behind Bastet, but to her and this NetNavi, it seemed as if their time together was on another plain. Her beastly eyes still gazing towards Flare as if he was her toy, even if all she gotten in return was such a blank stare that made her seem like nothing!
“Mreow...”
It was alright! It was all forgiven! Even the abusive slash amidst their dance that left an open cut on the cat’s left shoulder that she sighed at.
“You can keep up with me?” her right paw that was lifted had its nails longer than usual and apparently about a foot-long. They were the equivalent of three short swords, and extended from the middle fingers and those neighboring next to it. It was then Bastet’s true abilities were apparent: not only did she excel at mesmeric and debilitating effects, but quick movements that made the perfect defense! She was a mesmerizing swordswoman with punishing counter attacks!
“But how fast are you? Mreow!~”
...well, the first two descriptions did not show, but the third was about to.
Bastet’s charming smile behind the thin veil of a pink cloth was sadistic!
In that moment that Flare’s strikes were to be a dream, she added her own fantasy! Each sword slash he made was met with a swipe from the front paw, and the movement of the back paw’s nails swung with nails just as long and just as unforgiving with their strikes. When the back paws were in stride to parry, her front paws would balance her as she swept them to strike at any opening that Flare had in that moment. She was not a master of just three swords on each hand, but twelve!
Whether the counter strikes of Bastet’s movements hit or not, she did not shriek, cry, worry! Her tongue licked out as her head leaned towards her left shoulder as she licked her wound. It was the only movement of her body other than the lifted paw with her three blades. Any other movement with the caliber of their speed would obviously be a hint to resume their high-speed battle. For Bastet, this would be dangerous seeing that her opponent was fast! She would remain retaining her speed in defensive counterattacks rather than trying to go to her signature attack pose: pounce!
Bastet had a feeling this prey was not like others, and one wrong move meant this opponent would be petting her in every way she did not like!
________________________________________________________ “We’re so good that its’ cut throat! Meow!”
Now Playing: Fulcrum by Atelier Escha & Logy Battle Post Count: T.W.O. Chatty Ditz: Hmm...a little fast, but it will do for now.
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Post by Phen on Nov 15, 2014 0:35:47 GMT -8
[Post 2/5]
Flare made no effort to avoid damage from the counterattacks each of his bladed strikes were met easily with scrapes and cuts, shallow in nature but numerous regardless. However something was not quite right. Some time into the assault, Bastet could feel it... Something was off, her claws weren't tearing into data, they seemed to almost be passing through it. Even Flare's form wavered as he attacked, and as he looked down upon her, his eyes gave way to the truth. More than simply being under her spell... The one before her.
Was not the real one.
Its form wavered for a moment as the dead eyes looked down upon Bastet, before what happened to be an illusory form of the navi splashed to the ground, a simulacrum of water. Yet the real one was not far off.
"Your tricks won't work on me for long though. Lets continue..."
Moving in quickly with a few short steps, Even as Bastet could track his movements, these ones seemed as if to trail his form. Each strike following itself with the same strike mere moments following.
Flare brought his blade out in a swinging arc, followed by two more swift strikes and yet another ghastly blade, which thrust forward alongside Flare's own weapon.
Yet the assault did not stop, Pulling back his blade ever so slightly, Flare changed his hand position, letting the blade drop to face the ground as he plunged it in, a rose petaled blast issuing forth from the impact site toward Bastet.
Pulling his weapon back out of the ground, he brought the hilt closer to his face, ready to parry at a moment's notice. As he stood, it was clear he still had a number of minor cuts and scrapes from Bastet's difficult counter attacks. But not nearly of the level had he taken them all.
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Post by ~Divine|<3|Heart~ on Nov 17, 2014 1:04:24 GMT -8
///Kathy-&-Basty///
________________________________________________________
...and they continued.
Bastet was not swift enough to guard against the first attack. Flare’s steps were quick and so were his strikes. Bastet's eyes were trying to see what had already happened merely a second ago, and her steps caused her to try to keep up with a pace that seemed impossible. Her expression went from a gaping cry to a painstaking moan as her dance was jittery and her claws missed the parry as if they were slipping through her fingers.
All of which that did not last long...
The swinging arc caught her chest, and the first swift strike cut a piece of her veil cloth near her neck, but the second was where it all stopped! Bastet’s claws had come up as she twirled her body. A motion that meant nothing until she dropped her center close to the ground and then risen in a whirl like a typhoon. She intended to parry, but knew that her opponent would not lose his balance. He was too much of a dancer for that, and she knew this! It was the reason she had a smile on her face and her eyes opened and looking at the world around her that moved in slow motion. Her other claw swung out to strike at the ghastly blade while she placed her other foot forward, stopping in a pose as if she made a humble bow.
“Meooow! Tricks? I wonder what tricks he means? Meow?~”
Bastet’s thought went through her mind like a guilty, silent sin! The longer she danced around with her style of swordsmanship, the more her opponent would be drawn in and prone to attack. It was the most powerful trait of her Beast Sword Skill – The Cat’s Dance! It was like a mating ritual, and no animal was spared from its call. How she parried by parrying a blade by plucking at it with her nail, or even how she kept that inviting, empowering look in her eye as she watched her opponent, all of it was more than just a “trick.”
“Basty can’t help it...if her targets fall in love with her! Meow!~”
With a malevolent smile, Bastet stood at the center of the floral blast. She had made one swift back flip to not only gain distance, but to draw the concealed swords at her back paws. The six blades, half as long as the nails on her hands, had shredded the petals that drew near and as she brought her head upward and threw back her arms, slashed at the remainder that divided themselves and landed across her body and veiled face. There were few that stuck to the body of the cat-like NetNavi, mixing with the open wounds that data seeped from showing surely she had taken damage.
“Basty is getting hot! Meow!” a soft purr left her lips as Bastet gave Flare an affectionate gaze. She stuck her tongue out, licking one of the open wounds along her right paw as she sat on her knees and balanced on her left paw. Her wound closed slowly as a steam risen from her very hand from the touch of her tongue. “Give Basty a minute...meow?”
Was she charging? Was it a bluff? Or was she simply being the usual eccentric assassin?
________________________________________________________ “We’re so good that its’ cut throat! Meow!”
Now Playing: Fulcrum by Atelier Escha & Logy Battle Post Count: T.H.R.E.E. Chatty Ditz: ---
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Post by Phen on Nov 19, 2014 10:07:48 GMT -8
[3/5]
It looked like his opponent was taking a rest. And having cleansed his mind of her tricks that drew him in, Flare sat on a nearby ruined pillar, sheathing his blade as a soft green glow enveloped him, his wounds closing slowly similar to how Bastet's were as well. His sheathed blade was still glowing, it was a deep yellow now, and it seemed to be darkening.
But Flare was glad to take a moment to relax at this tournament, he likely wouldn't be able to do so later. This cat navi was very peculiar. She talked like an assassin, but she acted much unlike one. Much more playful, and seems to try and defeat her opponents over time, she had yet to make any directly offensive actions against him. That alone was strange, but it worked well enough for him.
"Take as long as you need, just tell me when you're ready to start again."
Yet to a degree, Flare didn't fully expect the warning, he was fully aware of himself and Bastet's position. Not to be would simply be foolish. He crossed his legs and leaned back on his seat, his blade in one hand and nothing in the other, his free hand supporting his angle adequately. A soft smile creeped across his face as he looked into the sky and the floating scenery of the would-be paradise.
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Post by ~Divine|<3|Heart~ on Nov 19, 2014 11:55:52 GMT -8
///Kathy-&-Basty///
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Bastet’s tongue made one more stroke against her soft fur, closing the wound and her breathing calm once again.
As the feline gave one sounded stretch of her body, her paws on the ground and her hind raised into the air, she could felt her body finally start to cool down. Her mind was not preoccupied with how fast this opponent was, making her usual “charm” and assassin skills fail to give her the upper hand as usual, but rather how Ms. Katherine would be angry with her by now that this was not over. Even if this thought was a guilty one, she had a cheery smile then and raised her right bow waving it through her hand.
“Basty is all better, and ready! Mreoooow!~”
Her sound coo shot through the air as she cheered, but her expression went back to one of a fierce beastly predator. Had her opponent been some merciless klutz who attacked without thinking, this would be all over, but this one was different! Seeing that, Bastet drew out her claws, get got her body low to the ground, and risen her head revealing her look once more. Her pose was different no longer looking like some kind of dancer or crossing her claws in a defensive manner.
“However, Basty has taken too long with this! She will have to end this before Ms. Kitty gets mad! Mew!~”
Her cat-call was saddened, but in a playful manner. The thought of failure was not in her mind, the goal of a kill was everything, and she was ready to put her body at risk. Although she seemed to act as some child, her intent was nothing short of an assassin, and so was her true speed! Bastet had made one sound leap into the air and vanished fading from sight as if she was a ghost. However, something begin to appear on the cobblestone ground before Flare. Four distinct lines had begun to be engraved into the stone and the source carving them in slowly appeared. The ,long four nails on the hand of Bastet was the first thing to come into view and the second being that upper body that was twisting to make a quick swipe from the ground up, and the final thing that would be made out was that murderous face appearing as if from behind an unseen shroud.
“Time for Basty to pounce,” her ears perked as there was a distinct sound coming from her nails, but yet different from before. It was not soothing, but this time very loud and piercing as if it could shatter the ears. It was a diversion tactic, one that usually weakened the body and agitated the listener. The way Bastet’s ears twitched however was like satellite, navigating the pitch as if it was like second nature to ignore it...and use it.
“and you to be deleted! Mreow!”
Bastet swept upward using her Kat-Klaw, but went into a complete frenzy as she followed-up with her left claw in wait to parry.
________________________________________________________ “We’re so good that its’ cut throat! Meow!”
Now Playing: Fulcrum by Atelier Escha & Logy Battle Post Count: F.O.U.R. Chatty Ditz: ------
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Post by Phen on Nov 20, 2014 17:05:57 GMT -8
Flare rose from his seat was Bastet announced her readiness. She seemed to be ready to start on the attack this time, no longer content to just react to his attacks. Her form dipped once more and Flare could feel it, the same feeling from before that sent him into a place where he was not in control of the battle, where his body moved on its own. His head shook, but again his eyes began to lose their luster, before becoming dark once more. Lulled into Bastet's dance, there was no emotion there, but he could still not help to enter a battle stance. The last thing he saw was Bastet's stance, much lower to the ground. His consciousness wavered once more, he was fighting it... Then...
Nothing.
He had managed to fight off the navi's mind games once more, but as he came to, his opponent was no longer before him. Looking from side to side, he had been so focused on keeping her out of his head that he lost track of her.
Yet a sound rang in his ears, a similar one that he had heard near the start of the fight. The sound of steel on stone... Flare's mind raced, Where was it coming from... His eyes darted about while the sound wracked his mind, yet the stone ground below caught his eyes, marks appeared upon it and Flare realized just too late what was happening
The form of Bastet materialized arm first, with the bladed claws coming up from the ground at speeds Flare would normally be able to see, but his mind had been too distracted. Instinctively, his body arched back and to the side to dodge, yet Flare had another plan. He grit his teeth, pushed forward, and raised his blade, still sheathed. His skin began to glow slightly as it seemed to harden for the oncoming strike.
As Bastet's claw came up, tearing into Flare's flesh, so did Flare's sheathed blade, coming down directly on top of Bastet's rising body. He was aware of this navi's abilities now, and he wasn't going to give her a chance to parry. His skin had been able to take some of the force out of the strike, but the claw still dug deep, and his head was still spinning from her various mental assaults. Yet the sheathed blade now was glowing a deep red.
Flare jumped back, following the clash, the claws tearing forth more flesh from the open wound as he trailed blood back along his path. His breathing was heavy now, having sustained heavy damage. He drew his blade once more.. Flare still had some fight left in him it seemed, but not much...
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Post by ~Divine|<3|Heart~ on Nov 20, 2014 18:21:15 GMT -8
///Kathy-&-Basty///
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*CLINK!!!*
The sound of metal-on-metal was just as familiar as the sound of someone calling Bastet’s name.
This time, Bastet felt fortunate to hear the sound that entered her ears. It was a sure sign that she moved swiftly enough to intercept the blade that was coming down upon her, but just barely. She felt not only in her mind that she was too late, but in her very body as she could feel the blade digging into her shoulder, and only the force of the back of her long sword-like nails pressing against Flare’s blade was stopping it from going any deeper, and her own focus divided which stopped her from continuing to cut the opposing NetNavi into two as it meant she would not be able to save herself.
As Flare leapt back, so did Bastet with a lack of her usual elegance. Her body was slumped and her blades were stained on both hands: the right with Phoenix’s shreds of data and the left with her own. The cat-like NetNavi’s speed should have surely dealt with the incoming attack had she not channeled it all into striking, thus revealing a vital weakness: Purely attack or defense...her speed could not compensate for both, so she always had to choose!
“Mreoooo-ouch!” The NetNavi picked up her head and let out a mournful cry. Her face showing stress and discontent that reminded you of a teenage girl worried about her looks, “Basty was right! You’re fast! Probably even faster than Basty! If Basty did not stop her own attack, she would have been a goner!”
The cat looked to her shoulder as she curled her tongue from her lips under her veil licking at the open shoulder wound once. The streaming data that poured out had thinned and slowed. That was only for a moment. Staring, Bastet saw the wound open up and pour out, but only at half the speed it originally had. Her wound was severe, and honestly she knew she could not last long. The burden of her incredible speed became apparent: high defense capability through quick movements meant her body was so fragile!
“Oh well! Basty cannot waste any more time on you! You are her mark after all! Mreow!~” She chimed as she raised her injured left arm. The cat-like NetNavi winced and drew back her hand, straining from the pain as she looked to Flare once more as she placed her paws down upon the ground with difficulty and raised her hind into the air, repeating the pose and posture as before. “It’s either Basty cut you down now, or Ms. Kitty yells at Basty later! Compared to you, hearing Ms. Kitty chew Basty out is like dying five times over! Meow!”
As she spoke, parts of Bastet’s body vanished once more begun to vanish one by one. From her back paws to the front, Bastet had begun to fade like a ghost. Even as she moved, leaping into the air with a malicious expression on her face similar to a monstrous beast, her mouth had not moved an inch as an echo playfully cried out to Flare:
“Here comes Basty!”
It was apparent then how this ability worked. Bastet had already moved and closed in on her enemy, and the fading away was just how slow someone’s perception of the female’s movements were. When her nails crossed one another and she danced, she was fighting defensively! Her fighting was all play and her opponent’s strikes were nothing but their own undoing. However, this style, her body dropping low and her leaping forth was her true assassination style: to pounce her enemy and strike them in one go.
The eight blades had come like a rush of wind that was sharp and precise. Bastet’s claws appeared along the left and right shoulder of Flare as they closed in, aiming to cleave him all the way down to the ground. Her head and upper body came from the air as if slipping from another plain of existence, and her strike would be like an execution.
The female NetNavi had no defense, no contingency plan, nor any mind tricks with her attack. It was just a swift blow from the rear as she aimed to slash NetNavi into pieces of sixteen with all eight blades that made up her fingernails. As he would hear the name of her attack, it would be too late by then as Bastet said it with a rasp that sounded like the hiss of a disturbed feline.
“Kross Kat-Klaw!”
________________________________________________________ “We’re so good that its’ cut throat! Meow!”
Now Playing: Fulcrum by Atelier Escha & Logy Battle Post Count: F.I.V.E. Chatty Ditz: ------
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Post by Phen on Nov 21, 2014 12:57:15 GMT -8
Bastet's weakness only became clear when it became much too late to make use of it. Flare held his wound with one hand while his other held his blade. Gripping the hilt of his sword, it was clear that this fight could not continue much longer, for either of them. Throwing the sheath of his weapon to the side, Flare stood at the ready, still clutching his wound as he looked for an out. His blade glowing a deep crimson, whatever he had been preparing for was ready it seemed...
“It’s either Basty cut you down now, or Ms. Kitty yells at Basty later! Compared to you, hearing Ms. Kitty chew Basty out is like dying five times over! Meow!”
The words of his opponent managed to snap him back into reality despite the loss of data he was suffering from and only now receiving a short reprieve from her constant sonic attacks. Flare grit his teeth realizing that this was the final push that would allow him to get through this and advance to the next round. Releasing his hand from his wound, Flare placed his free hand near the tip of his blade.
Moving into a ready stance, his feet shoulder-width apart, and his blade angled vertically, as if splitting his body in two. Taking a deep breath in and exhaling loudly, his hands spanning the length of the blade, Flare closed his eyes... and focused...
Focused on the battle, on himself, on the sounds around him. The sounds of rough exhaling coming from his mouth, he could feel the light from his blade seeping into his body. He could feel Bastet's presence... He knew what was coming.
In a state of intense focus... Even without the help of his eyes, Flare could See Everything.
“Here comes Basty!”
His opponent's declaration of attack made it clear she was coming in his mind's eye. Her form as it faded was visible as well, and Flare waited... Simply waited. It was mere fractions of a second, but it felt like an eternity as Bastet drew closer and closer to Flare. As her claws were just to his sides Flare's eyes shot opened. Bastet's form was clear, and directly in front of him. A small targeting reticule appeared in Flare's right eye, and to his sight, Bastet could not escape, he had a lock on her.
Bastet's claws cleaved through the air as they passed over where Flare was, but they only caught just that. Much like her own technique, Flare's form was spectral, an afterimage left after he moved out of the way with incredible speed. As Bastet yelled her attack's title, a voice caught her on the wind.
"If it's like dying five times over, then I'll kill you ten."
Flare appeared behind Bastet, his own target. In the same position as before, yet his face was much less calm. Serious, a face he had yet to don. From his position, Ghastly visages of himself began to circle around Bastet, forming a large circle. Fifteen in total, the true one took grip of his blade and brought it to his side, but his left came off of it, pointing forward with an open palm.
"Behold your end!" Flare shouted, one of the visages of him came in dashing toward Bastet with a strike of its own, coming in from the side. Each one then followed almost directly after the one before it, Each a different strike, from all directions, they seemed to alter their strikes as Bastet moved, so each one would hit true. As the last of the visages took its strike, Flare came next to Bastet just like those before him. With a roar Flare let loose his final strike.
Final Cross!
As the navi passed by his opponent, each line his forms passed through lit up in a brilliant azure flash. Flare stood facing away from his opponent, Swinging his sword across the air as the data remnants of Bastet lingered on it, flung to the ground where they disappeared into the aether.
But his final strike left him with little energy left. Adrenaline wearing off, Flare quickly turned his blade to the ground, sticking it in and leaning on it as a makeshift walking stick. Brought to one knee by his wounds, he refused to fall here. Lifting himself up by his blade, he staggered over to where his sheath lie on the ground, placed his blade in it, and limped off, content that the battle was finished.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 22, 2014 12:32:10 GMT -8
Bastet: -Style: 30 No gripes here. Overall, this was a pretty impressive fight. -Articulation:18 a few grammar errors, but over all pretty good. -Balance:20 Can't really complain much here. Seem's like an even amount of Give and take. -Length: 10 You two both keep it at a pretty decent length. -Emotion: 10 I don't know much about these characters, but the level of emotion on both sides seems to fit. -JP: 10 I feel that the fight was pretty good, so yeah.
98/100|A 50 exp/500 zenny
Flare: -Style: 30 Again, seemed like something I would actually watch. -Articulation: 20 didn't see many issues here. -Balance: 20 Flare seemed to be at about the right level. -Length: 10 Pretty good here. -Emotion: 10 No complaints. -JP: 10
100/100|S 60 exp/ 600 zenny
Finish her. #MK-theme
------------- Feel free to have someone else double check this.
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Post by Vilicious on Nov 22, 2014 22:55:07 GMT -8
((These colors work for clarity, I think.))
JUDGMENT!
Well fought. Together, then:
Style & Articulation & Judge Points
Flow, grammar, linguistic cohesion, and my own feel. You'd think, the way I grade for grammar, post length would wound you grievously here: In fact, it wasn't bad. Did do a 3/4 scale, but the entire thing was a good read.
Went through and made a mark for every critical grammar or spelling issue, occasionally forgiving those done clearly in the name of stylizing your posts or clearly through enthusiasm (inconsistently missing/added punctuation)... and you came within a point of each other. No kidding. Followed a similar trend as well in that your worst posts (technically speaking) were the first two.
Bastet (39/60) All in all, well paced. As ever, you blow us away with articulation and what would surely be overdrawn characters in any other hands - couple issues with sentence length (run-ons that are a little confusing to read), spots of vagary in descriptions, and some repetitive phrasing resulted in cuts. Giving your posts a once over in Preview could save grief in the future. (Also aside, loch is the body of water, lock is hair. No point deducted for such)
Sample of good and bad:
She felt not only in her mind that she was too late, but in her very body as she could feel the blade digging into her shoulder, and only the force of the back of her long sword-like nails pressing against Flare’s blade was stopping it from going any deeper, and her own focus divided which stopped her from continuing to cut the opposing NetNavi into two as it meant she would not be able to save herself. The section opens very well, but dragged on with "and, and". Before "Her own focus" would have been a good split.
Flare: (40/60) A couple spots of tense, lots of "seems", and though you articulated it felt kind of empty... until the last post. Aside from walking away seeming like you took the kill, if you'd started the way you ended, this could have been a handy 40+. I mean, that entire post is a good sample from you, so I'll just show an off one:
The one before her. Break. Break. Was not the real one. Could have been a single suspended sentence, a differently placed ellipsis, another ellipsis (for anti-hero RP vibes lololol), or even as-is but simply a continued sentence. Because of the set-up (ellipsis, words, period, break), it reads here as two hard fragments to me.
Balance
Flare: (16/20) As stated, last post last action made me squirm a little. Heavy damage into heavy attack back to heavy damage, 0 opportunity for reaction (granted last post, she was heavily damage, but so were you... wouldn't that at least give opportunity for a hole in the technique, taken or no?). Set Version 1, but that seemed very much like a Hyper attack and so would be within bounds, IMO.
Bastet: (18/20) I thought there might be one here, but I read it over a couple times. Only comment is that she might have even come off as too weak given the versions were both set to 1.
Length
Bastet: (6/10) Battle posts 2 and 5 I actually made a note (*LENGTH!). Length is fine when combine with adequate flow, and being succinct during a lull is also fine. If the reader stops and goes "Done yet?" it would be valuable to look for places to cut.
Flare: (10/10) Flow precludes a length deduction. Last post was long, but was easy to get into.
Emotion
Flare: (8/10) Made a note for this on your first battle post. Flare seems a little flat emotionally as a character, but there was especially no give in that post compared to the others... and if it was just already a clone, these points could be taken from balance. Emotion can be charged into a post just by the intensity of word choice.
Bastet: (7/10) Too much emotion? =[ A lot of exclamation points that felt weird instead of making it exciting.
Overall!
Flare: 74/100 (+90/+900) Bastet: 70/100 (+60/600)
(Calculated: +25/250 from posts, +20/200 rank, +5/50 if you consider that (now justified ;p) last bit from Colin a finish.)
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