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Post by Ion on Sept 7, 2009 16:25:08 GMT -8
Snickering in delight at his mischievous deeds Ion watched the tea soaked cookies fall the crumb covered ground. Yet to his amazement and intrigue, the indistinguishable slop soon reformed into miniature sized super monster cookies. Upon seeing their sly and devious grins, Ion gathered up his tea pots and with a great deal of loud clanking and clinking he attempted to waddle away. Carrying around twenty tea pots certainly slowed him down in comparison to his previous bullet speed. Switching between juggling them and tying them to parts of his tuxedo, Ion was soon being severely outrun by the mini-monster cookies. Turning to face them head on he cried out, "Where is this?"
Just as his last word rang out through the massive chamber, Ion was taken down and sent into a flurry of dust as all the cookies attacked him. Ion was quickly reduced to a moving dust cloud with a variety of POW, KaPOW, SHWOOM, BONK, BING, and PACHOW's flying out from it. From the cloud jumped a monster cookie with Ion's top hat held squashed up in its chubby hands. Still in a desperate fight for control, Ion could do nothing as he glimpsed the most horrifying scene of all! There! Out of his reach! The cookie had squished his hat and now, holding it like a double-decker sandwich devoured the whole thing in one gi-normous bite! Crying out in despair and losing all hope for the battle at hand, he allowed the other monster cookies to begin gnawing on his poor, saddened frame. Burdened under the weight the multitudes of monster cookies, Ion could only glance up to notice something very bizarre occurring with the hat-killing monster cookie. It was doing a headstand!
Then a loud rumble slowly built up in the chamber and glancing around again, Ion quickly caught on to what was happening from the war cry of mickey mouse. Wait! No! That was the tank cookie! As the tank cookie came racing towards Ion, the hat-killing cookie took a flying dive straight into its master's mouth. Feeling the madness mix with anger, Ion erupted to his feet, sending all the other offending cookies flying away except for one still gnawing on his shoulder. Eyes glimmering with an intense passion, fire's seemed to light up from within his eyes and an insane smile spread across his face. "This. is. SPARTA!" His very body lit up with the ferocity of righteous anger at the injustice he had been forced to witness that day. The untimely and unjust death of a beautiful young tea cup, the horrific death of his own favourite top hat. Twice. No longer could this cookie run free! His white hair flipped straight up into a spiky fashion and momentarily flickered blond in the face of the oncoming crushing tank cookie.
Lunging forward with his fist leading the devastating right thrust, Ion ended up lunging directly into the giant cookie's gaping mouth. Darkness enveloped him and all light faded from his body as he fell downwards into the great stomach of the tank cookie....
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Post by Shast on Sept 8, 2009 5:12:13 GMT -8
Oh, yes, this is going on longer than 9 turn's for those who didn't think that was obvious enough. :)
"OBJECTION!" shouted the monster cookie as he grabbed Ion and swatted him against the cave wall a couple times. Ion bouncing off each time like rubber. Finally after much smacking the monster cookie picked Ion up with a few chubby fingers and with his other hand pulled a giant salt shaker out from behind him! He salted Ion up and lifted him above his mouth and dropped him in. With one satisfying grin he licked his lips and looked all around him, lifting up pebbles and even his own cookie minions looking for him, but to no avail. It seemed as though the other one had ran away! he thought as he sad there spinning in circles with his wheels in confused thought. Meanwhile...
Inside the giant cookie monster while the ruckus was going on outside Gush had his hands full with some tiny chocolate men, his stomach getting bigger by the minute his face becoming undiscernable from that of a chocolate covered pastry with eyes and a mouth that seemed to always be full of the chocolate soldiers. One by one they would enter his mouth and it seemed as though Gush would never see the end of them; for every 1 he ate it seemed 3 would appear! Several minutes later after what seemed like hours to Gush another figure, larger than the tiny demons of chocolate appeared. At first gush looked on to this shadowy silhouette as his downfall but when the light illuminated the figure he learned it was none other than Ion!
A sigh of both relief and shock escaped Gush as he rolled onto his back with a plop, his eyes spinning and a large streak of drool going down to his chin. Gush had had a chocolate overdose! Oh the horror!
Meanwhile back outside the cookie monster tank gave up on his hunt for Gush. He opened his mouth wide and one by one his mini-me's jumped into his mouth, after given the ok by his tiny counterparts the cookie tank began it's steady roll back to wence it came; Gush and Ion still inside it.
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Post by Ion on Sept 10, 2009 21:49:03 GMT -8
After being tossed against the rocky walls with an explosion of stars and poinks Ion was finally mercifully salted up and eaten just as his original intention had been. Thinking to himself as a tornado of stars shot through his eyes, I was a human firecracker! No better yet, I was fireworks!. Although he had suffered the same fate as his clones had, he was in considerably better shape...for the time being. Finally landing amongst the piles upon piles of cookie dough within the Great Cookie Monster, Ion tried to look around but the inky darkness merely made him trip over and over again. Finally giving up and taking a seat on a particularly cushy mound, Ion wiggled around to get comfortable. Little did he know that he was actually sitting atop a very, very porky little Gush.
While comfortably sitting on Gush's expansive belly, Ion meticulously pulled out little X-shaped bandages from his inside coat pocket. Placing them over each and every little tear in his clothes and every owie he had been given by the Monster Cookie, Ion was endlessly amused by the feel of the band-aids and their ability to make life all better. Giggling to himself when suddenly a brilliant smile lit up the inside of the Cookie's stomach, Ion jumped in surprise. Hitting his head on the roof of the stomach, Ion quickly pulled out a band-aid and stuck it on his new found owie which was quickly swelling to the size of the goose egg that Gush had given him earlier with the baguette.
Jaw dropping in awe as the glowing figure of the Cheshire boy fully materialized in front of him, Ion quickly got to his feet and in a gesture of delight and respect tipped his non-existent hat forward. Speaking in melodic tones once again the Cheshire boy said, "Would you like me to illuminate your situation? Or perhaps give you a hand?" In an old gag, he pulled out his own hand and offered it to Ion. Seeing Ion's gesture quickly fade from one of delight to one of sadness, he tosses the fake hand at the lazing Gush only to see it bounce off his enormous chocolate belly. Giggling as the flubbiness of the chocolate continued to jiggle and wiggle for a while afterwords, he turned once again to Ion and cast his full faced grin in his direction. Ion moodily murmured, "I want to get out of here now..." Teasingly the young boy replies, "Well where do you want to go?" Caught off guard by this sudden question, Ion looks stymied and question marks sprout out of his head like ferns. Uncertainly he mutters, "I don't know...it doesn't really matter-" As though he was anticipating this answer the Cheshire boy enlightens him, "Well it doesn't really matter what direction you go if it doesn't really matter where you go!"
Considering this for a moment, Ion suddenly seems to like this answer quite a bit and even claps his hands in a very sudden mood swing to delight. Turning in place as though doing a pirouette, Ion realized that he had been sitting on top of his pineapple enjoying friend. Seeing the state that he was in, Ion got down on to his hands and knees to get right up into his face and look him in the eyes. "My good sir! He's gone mad! Look at his eyes! Simply crazy, those are mad eyes I tell ya! Aye, mad as a hornet without honey!" The Cheshire boy jumped onto Gush's stomach and looked in his eyes too. A look interest and inspection flooded his expression and he falsely quavered, "I'm scared of mad people! What if its contagious! This simply won't do! He looks like he's going to gush chocolate bits if I poke him! He's obviously possessed!"
Nodding in rapid agreement, Ion had donned a mock doctors set and agreed completely as he held a stethoscope to Gush's ear, "Yup, Yup! Obviously possessed, we need to call in an exerciser. Quick to the Batmobile!" Taking a moment to realize he was already in a moving cookie tank he took comfort in that and continued, "Mad and possessed! Poor thang! Kids these day just don't know what's right for them! But have no fear! The Cookie-Tank-Mobile is here! We'll have you fixed up in a jiffy where ever we stop next."
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Post by Shast on Sept 12, 2009 10:55:47 GMT -8
Gush could do nothing as Ion and the strange boy tinkered with his face. His more than pudgy size practically ate his arms and legs leaving them short little stubs that were only good for flailing helplessly; which they did. With a quick and rapid shake of his head gushs eyes regained their former cartoon-ish self while the drool spittle flew off and smacked a random chocolate soldier; melting it slowly as it cried out in horror with a small squeaking sound.
The two still playing with his face completely oblivious to the fact that Gushs face was no longer in a crazed daze were taken aback when Gush became to wiggle back and forth, attempting to roll over. After several minutes of continued blubbery progress Gush finally managed to roll over onto his stomach with a loud *SMOOSH*. Gush was unable to figured out what he crushed with is inhuman size but he didn't figure it was important...
A couple minutes later gush let out a loud gut wrenching earth shaking burp that rocked the entire cookie tank to its core. The burp lasted for about a minute and with every passing second his was deflating in size until eventually returning to normal! As Gush got up he finally had the chance to see what it was he crushed; it was Ion and the strange boy! Gush sprouted a shocked face of both horror and surprise while he took a pose expressing those same emotions; two arms sticking straight in the air while he was standing at an angle. Finally, Gush pricked up the two flat disks that were Ion and the boy and in one whippingly sharp flap returned them to their normal shape.
With a cocky salute Gush dashed to the wall of the cookie tanks stomach and starting digging. At first straight into it but them took a sharp turn up; heading right for the brain of the cookie tank! eating bits of the cookie as he went.
Meanwhile, outside the stomach, the cookie tank finally arrived at it's destination; the bakers sanctuary. "I've brought the intruders, grand master baker of all things pastry and doughy." With that the cookie tank opened his mouth wide, reached in, pulled the strange boy and Ion out, and dropped them on the floor. In a baritone-esque voice the grand master baker of all things pastry and doughy shouted "EXCELLENT! these two will look simple marvelous as pastries!" he seemed to have a lisp and liked taking poses, each one random, spontaneous, and nearly instant it's as if this guy were moving from point A to point B without anything inbetween, just A and B. Even moving was like that he flashed about the room striking weird poses each time and getting closer and closer to Ion and the boy before finally reached just several inches away from the Mad Hatter Ion and whispering to him "Yes... marvelous..!"
Back inside the beastie of a tank cookie Gush was nearing his destination when he came upon a strange looking chocolate chip. It didn't look bad or rotten, just looked a little blue.. Not caring Gush ate it whole. Suddenly the cookie tank started to shake ferociously and crumble. He tried to cry out to his master but nothing came out of his mouth! Not even a minute after the shaking started there was nothing but a pile of cookie chunks and the tank wheels base left... Gush poked his head out of the delicious debris and muttered the words "That chocolate chip tasted weird.." In the same voice as the cookie tank!
>This voice, for those of that forgot..< :D
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Post by Ion on Sept 12, 2009 14:35:31 GMT -8
When Gush had violently began struggling to roll over, Ion leaped on top of him in an attempt to subdue the irrational behavior of a possessed carton. After about a minute of flubbing around, Gush finally rolled over and Ion's eyes popped out in surprise as he was slowly compressed to the size of a sheet of paper before being completely consumed by the immense mass of Gush. The Cheshire boy on the other hand was having a jolly good time. Seconds before Gush had rolled over, the Cheshire boy popped out his own toothy grin and let the chattering teeth bite into Gush's balloon like belly and stepped off the rolling mound formerly known as Gush. As the toy biting teeth continued to bite into Gush just as he had into the Cookie Tank, the Cheshire boy took the opportunity to plant a pirate flag directly into Gush's back. Declaring, "I hereby claim this land for SPARTA!" the Cheshire boy continued to smile, his teeth already having reappeared after letting his old set loose on Gush.
Just as Ion had been re-inflated and the Cheshire boy finished writing out the documents to claim Gush for Sparta, they were both scooped up by a giant crumby hand! Speaking quite normally to Ion, the Cheshire boy handed over a paper claim and exclaimed, "Lookie here! I found us a piece of land! We now own it and are free to move in anytime!" Taking one glance at the strangely shaped land that he now was a co-owner of, he had only one thing to say..."Looks haunted..."
Finally having breached the mouth of the Cookie Tank, Ion and the Cheshire boy were placed in front of the Grand Master Baker of All Things Pastry and Doughy. Completely ignoring the Master Baker, Ion turned his head back on the crumbling Cookie Tank and began chowing down at an incredible pace! Even as the Cookie Tank collapsed leaving Gush in a ruinous mess of chocolate chips and cracked dough, Ion aimed for the small chocolate chips that littered the ground devouring them like a bloodhound searching for a scent. It wasn't until finally the Grand Master Baker of All Things Pastry and Doughy got right up into Ion's face that he finally turned and took notice to him. Mimicking the Baker's expression perfectly, Ion suddenly flicked his eyebrows up in unison and lunged forward landing a perfect bite out of the Grand Master Baker's nose. Chewing away at the strange tasting nose, Ion's eyes flickered from surprise, to disgust, to delight and finally settled on contentment. Each of which the Cheshire boy enacted for Ion as he inched closer to the Baker's side.
Meanwhile amongst the rubble of the Cookie Tank, the chattering teeth tottered to and fro closer to Gush. Inching over lumps of chocolate and tunneling through fresh dough, the snapping teeth were intent on reaching the delicious Gush! Already they were traversing his shoulder and nipping at his exposed ear!
The Cheshire boy reached for an enormous frying pan that hung low from the ceiling just as Ion began to say, "Incredible! This man tastes lik-" Just as the Grand Master Baker of All Things Pastry and Doughy roared, "SILENCE" the Cheshire boy's grin grew even wider and simultaneously slammed the Baker's head with the frying pan while screaming, "NOISE!". Reaching behind the now dazed Baker, the Cheshire boy pulled out a beautiful brand new top hat in the exact style Ion's had been in earlier. Tossing it to the slightly larger Ion after slipping two vials into it, the Cheshire boy says whimsically to the Baker, "You wouldn't have liked me as a pastry anyways...I'm. Just. Not. All. There..." and as easily as he appeared he simply faded into the background leaving only a toothy grin floating in the air before finally that disappeared as well after the word 'there' floated from his faceless mouth.
Catching the hat in mid-air Ion grinned a chocolate covered grin, reminiscent of the Cheshire boy himself. In the small time he had decided to eat the chocolate chips, his belly had already grown by the size of two bowling balls. Despite this fact he danced a jig around the rubble with his belly flopping up and down in chaotic rhythm to his antic movements.
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Post by Shast on Sept 13, 2009 22:53:07 GMT -8
The teeth nipped Gushs ear lightly but the reaction was a quick leap into the air as he yanked and tugged the teeth off himself and threw them at the baker. "He's tasted navi! RUUUUN for your liiives!" Gush clinged to a chandelier as it swung back and forth. He watched the teeth chase after the baker as he ran around his underground sanctuary faster than a normal baker would, the teeth right behind him however even taking nips at his shirt and pants! Gush chuckled heartily at the teeths to attempt to eat the grand master baker of all things pastry and doughy.
Finally the baker had had enough and with an angry yell he turned around to meet the teeth and he... ate them! *crunch crunch crunch* the grinding noise with each chomp were like ails on a chalkboard to the room. gush could stand it no longer! He pounced at the baker in a poof of smoke and rammed him headfirst, expecting to take the man with him but instead got only his head!! Oh the humanity Gush thought to himself; this poor baker cut down in his prime! *tears spilled from his eyes like waterfalls hitting the bakers head as it lay in Gush's arms. Just then it started to melt and crumble, like a cookie! *gasp* This wasn't a baker at all! It was a- BAKED MAN!!! In a perplexed pose Gush called out to Ion "Hey Ion! How can a baked man be the Gran Master Baker of all things Doughy and Pastry!?"
As he shouted his words the baked mans on the ground body dragged itself to its feet and charged Gush; grabbing him and dragging him to the back of the room where the kitchen sink popped up to reveal yet another hidden chamber! "OH NO ZOMBIES!!!" Gush's struggling was in vain as the baked mans arms were stronger than steel, somehow the creator of this creature forgot to use the same method to make this pastrys head! He was dragged into the sinks chambers and the sink plopped back down to his usual self- or so seemed...
Less than 10 seconds after the baked man vanished miniature baked pans(head still intact, or your money back!) began to flood from the sink and overflow it with their gingerbread suits and licorice whips. they crept closer to Ion intent on blocking his path as if to buy time for the baked man to deliver his heinous act upon Ions fellow navi! What could this insidious plot be?!
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Post by Ion on Sept 26, 2009 15:48:55 GMT -8
Watching the constantly unfolding events with obvious glee, Ion even clapped his hands to the sound of the clattering teeth that so delightfully chased the Grand Master Baker of All Things Pastry and Doughy. Occasionally looking up to ensure that Gush, his partner in insanity, was alright dangling from the ceiling Ion couldn't help but giggle. Continuing to giggle even as Gush leaped onto the Baker's head and quickly dissolved it into a pile of slimy cookie dough, Ion burst into outright guffaws as the headless baked man stumbled around clumsily and he clearly heard Gush's tinny squeaky voice echo through the chambers. Yet it was with a sudden silence that Ion witnessed the baked man scoop up Gush and carry him with practiced ease into the underside of the sinks. Eyes glued on the towering figure of the Baked Man whisking away his only tea time friend, Ion's eyes tightened around the edge's and in dark contrast to the emotions being displayed by his eyes, Ion began humming the tune of Jabberwocky. As the gingerbread soldiers began streaming through the sink with heads perfectly molded heads and the same clone-like expressionless smile plastered across their face in icing. Their gingerbread suits and snapping licorice whips were quite imposing as their masses continued to flood out of the sink. Still standing atop the rubble of the Cookie Tank, Ion felt a wide grin split his features. The beautiful madness of the Mad Hatter was continuing to delve deeper into his mind.
The dumb grin that welcomed the soldiers to their mission was offset only by a strange twinkle in his eyes. Their rapidly approaching ranks were like lambs to the slaughter in Ion's eyes. Like tea biscuits to be eaten. Or shot. With a single gulping gasp, Ion drew in his deepest breath and brought up the still perfectly formed chocolate chips into his cheeks. Pursing his lips, Ion brought a hand up to his lips and blew the carbon copy gingerbread men a fluttering kiss, a single heart drifting forward from his lips. It drifted upwards like a bubble before the air was rent with chocolate chip artillery! Shooting the chocolate chips like seeds, they blasted forward through the ranks like a machine gun. As the gingerbread men fell victim to the chocolate chip onslaught, Ion leaped forward reaching down to pluck the gum drop buttons off each felled enemy.
Cries of agony filled the air, all resonating with the same single minded pain, "NOT THE GUMDROP BUTTONS". Feeling no pain but the loss of their treasured gumdrops, Ion plowed through the gingerbread only stopping once his chocolate chip pot belly had been fully depleted. Turning back on the gingerbread devastation left in his path he only spoke five words to the soldiers, "Oh yes, the gumdrop buttons" Swinging back his head to take in the collected gumdrops, Ion began shooting them through the few remaining gingerbread men opposing his motion towards the sink and beyond that: Gush.
Finally reaching the sink Ion crouched down over it and fervently began hissing at it, "Sssss. Sss? SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! SSS! SSS! SsSsSsSsS!!!" One particularly snide gingerbread man tossed his whip at Ion's head and retorted, "What in the world are you doing?! Be quiet and just lift it like the big guy did. Sheesh, who do you think you are? Harry Potter?" Readjusting his top hat sheepishly, Ion mumbled "Well...it did...y'know work...for him."
Taking the gingerbread man's advice though Ion lifted the sink high into the air and quickly made his way into the inner sanctum of the Baked Man. Despite what awaited him ahead, whether it be hammers, ducks or even the most pulpy of all orange juice's, Ion felt saddened by the abduction of his crazy speaking friend. And that just wasn't very nice. Stealing is mean.
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Post by Shast on Sept 27, 2009 17:50:08 GMT -8
The baked mans attempt at abducting Gush as successful, his plans were ruined by the duo but he had the means to create a creation so horrible, so grizzly; that no one could stand against it! In all its gooey baked goody might! The baked man chuckled to himself as he continued his thoughts of grandeur and a rain of cupcakes as he stood on a mound of chocolate, overlooking hundreds of muffin men bowing before him. His chuckle turned maniacal and he couldn't watch where he ran. He ran face first into a wall gush's bum colliding with the wall as well knocking the two backwards; gush on his face and the baked man on his back.
Seeing his chance to escape Gush didn't follow his common sense! He instead obeyed his stomach and turned to the backed man with hungry eyes as he dragged himself back to his feet. To Gush, the baked man looked like a headless hamburger. Gush licked his chops and chomped twice revealing his big sharp teeth. His hunger took over and he pounced on the baked man who had no chance to react to the hungry navis third for his chocolaty blood! "Oh boy oh boy oh boy, did I did the jackpot! This hamburger spews chocolate! omn om nom..." Gush continued his hungry devouring of the baked man.
A wall besides him while he ate in a near pitch black cave leading to who knows where. The only light penetrating the solid blackness was the entrance from the sink which Ion had taken to follow Gush and he captor. The cave-like pathway was nearly silent, the only sounds ruining the solid silence that woudl fit a cave of this nature was Gush eating the helpless dreamer. The baked man would have ran away but Gush had eaten his legs first, since his arms were made of some kind of super chocolate. "Iiiiiiiioooooooooooon! My pal! This burger's delicious! You simply must try some! Gush pulled out a small RC car that had very large wheels and a small wagon just big enough for the remains of the baked man(or hamburger, for Gush) Gush placed him on the wagon and whipped out a controller for the RC car. With a huge grin and his tongue sticking out he sat in some strange form of his legs being criss-crossed and with a roar of the engine the RC car bolted off carrying very shakily with it the baked man up to Ion.
Suddenly a light flashed from far behind Gush, illuminating the cave entirely, even as far back as showing Ion as he strutted himself very casually down the cave. Gush became nothing but a silhouette as the light reached its peak and the RC car crashed into the wall just before Ion as Gush went A.D.D. to investigate the flashing. Gush finally reached the end of the tunnel but by that time the light had died completely and all that remained was an old man, very very very old by the looks of it. His beard ran down to the ground and curled around to a fine hypno wheel fashion. He was bald and his apparel was very out of the ordinary as well. He donned a pair of vivid blue slacks and a white shirt and apron with the words "kiss the bakah!" on it. Whoever this old timer was he must not have eaten in a very long time. His clothes were very baggy on him to the point of nearly falling off.
"Gee old tima! You need some food!" Gush whipped out from the same pocket that he did the RC car, a 2 way walky-talky! "Ion, this is Gush, over. I need you to not eat that hamburger. We need it for the old man! He's witherin' away to nothin'! I repeat, do NOT eat the hamburger! stickman is hungry!" Such fierceness in Gushs words forced the stickman before him to open his weary eyes and chuckle; he coughed a few times as he did so. "Oh you crazy kids, is that awful creation of mine gone?" the old man exasperatedly spoke with his crispy voice but his words fell on deaf ears, Gush had gone into flash-back mode. He was recalling the time he too, was hungry. A horrible time! The days of old long ago; back when cars didn't fly and people shot with chocolate instead of lasers...
"That was a good tank.. The time Gush was recalling was none other than the battle against the cookie tank! Gush licked his chops with his over salivated tongue sending saliva everywhere. gushs face taking on an unimaginably happy look, as if he'd just won the lotto, found the love of his life, and was served breakfast for dinner all at the same time! "Did you hear me my good man? The old man tried once more, but to no avail. Gush's seemingly ecstasy induced flashback would be a hard one to come out of.
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Post by Ion on Oct 2, 2009 21:30:42 GMT -8
As Ion made his way down the rocky slope that was littered with chunks of delicious cast away pastries, he couldn't help but grab a few tea biscuits which he munched with great determination on. As the blinding light and RC cart raced towards him, Ion quickly flipped his top hat over his eyes and struck a very manly pose with both arms crossed and his back arced in rebellious form. As the light died down and Gush's words echoed through the cave Ion leaped into the air happily clicking his heels at the sound of his friend's voice. Witnessing the crash of the RC car and its cartload against the roughly carved rock walls, Ion immediately fell over the fallen, half-eaten Baked Man and with tears streaming down his face wailed, "OH OH OH!!! Oh The humanity! You poor, poor ugly duckling! Why did your mother shave your legs? She should have known you would turn out like this! You poor thing. If only that Easter Egg hadn't have had shaved legs...." Beating his fists lightly against the tough, chewy skin of its chest, Ion was surprised when he heard a sudden rush of static fill the air.
Glancing around in surprise and terror alike, Ion's eyes grew to the size of pool balls before alighting in utter happiness. "Oh its the pineapple phone! Bring, Bring, Bring it on!" Reaching down from his kneeling position, Ion removed a shoe and pulled an overly large antennae out of the toe of the shoe. Listening to Gush's proclamation that the Baked Man must be saved for the Stick Man at the bottom of the slope Ion's face spread into an enormous grin. Finally! Someone who would love to share some tea with him! Replying happily, "Roger roger, Pineapple Dodger"
Mounting the RC car like a miniature motor bike, Ion turned the entire dangerous contraption nose first downwards. With a wild hoot and a wave of his top hat he went flying down the remainder of the slope at break neck speed. As he breached the tunnel exit, an air horn sounded in the background and with eyes popping out of his head a good 2 feet as he noticed that Gush and the Stickman were directly in his uncontrolled path. Reaching up into his hat and pulling a worn piece of twine, the top of his hat opened up and released an ear piercing steam whistle like the trains of old. Yanking on the twine repeatedly in warning of his incoming crash, Ion's RC cart and cartload of delicious nommable food fell from beneath him.
Glancing around in confusion Ion finally looked down only to see a giant pit of caramel beneath him! Running in spot to try and escape the inevitable fate he would suffer, he barely managed to grab the ledge before falling into the delicious golden mire below. Pulling himself up and dusting his suit off including the previously stuck on band-aids, Ion caught sight of the baggily dressed old man standing before the love-struck Gush. Skipping his way over to the baker he planted a huge sloppy kiss on the old man's balding forehead. Shrugging out of his overcoat, Ion tossed it into the air and as it fell between the old man, Gush and Ion it became a well pressed table cloth for an invisible table beneath. Despite having no legs or even surface, the table seemed solid enough as Ion placed four tea cups on the floating jacket and a steaming hot pot of tea.
Seating himself very distinctively on an equally invisible chair across from the oddly dressed old man he crossed his leg and with a very serious expression on his face stared at him. Reaching down for his empty cup of tea, Ion sipped some air from the tea cup despite the tea pot steaming with freshly steeped liquid. Seconds passed like this. With the cup at Ion's pursed lips and an evaluative look in his eyes. Gently placing the tea cup down on his tabletop jacket he finally, with a VERY serious expression and extremely important tone of voice asked, "....... ...... .... Are. You. The. Muffin. Man?"
Time seemed to stand still for the young mad man as he stared deep into the eyes of this aged figure. Despite the constant groaning and slop of the Baked man struggling to remain upright in the caramel sauce pit, Ion's focus seemed so singularly on this one man that it brought a very uncomfortable atmosphere to the table. Eyes slowly widening as time went on, if he didn't get a response soon Ion's eyes would be the size of tea saucers...
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Post by Shast on Oct 7, 2009 18:15:06 GMT -8
And now for the worst finale ever.
With Ions utterly serious expression and tone, the old man could not help but play along with a tone and face to surpass his inquisitor. "I am.. the one and only..." He struck a masculine pose with one arm outstretched to the side and another a few inches higher above his head parallel to his first arm. "THE TRUE GRAND MASTER BAKER OF ALL THINGS PASTRY AND DOUGHY!" His cry echoed throughout the tunnel.
The baker plopped back down and dug into the baked mans crumbly remains; as he scarfed the baked man chunk by chunk. "Omfh You see *nom nom nom* I created this guy *nom* to help me bake things *swallow* but he ran amuckus and locked me down here! Who knows what he's done to the world!" his mouth still muffled with foods. Know, for saving me there's the matter of your reward, I've been trapped here for nearly a decade I think. Haven't seen the light-o-day or had anything pastry-like to eat either, the horror! The grand masta fell into a fetal position. He quickly stood back up, however, and grabbed Gush by the shirt and Ion by the hat and pulled them into the wall behind them.
Rather than being smushed on the wall the trio went right through it and went into a dark room wtih a tall green pipe at the end. The grand masta told Gush and Ion that their adventure could end here or that they could continue onward into the world the Grand masta had found during his travels in the cave. He described the world as a land of turtles and shrooms.
Many strange other creatures roamed the plains and rugged mountains of the world but what fun is a world if you already know what's in it?! The grand masta reached deep into his pockets and pulled out 2 pills, one green and the other orange and said "Choose a doughnut, the orange cream or the raspberry jam flavor." Rather than wait for their response the Grand masta just shoved them in both Gushs and Ions mouths. "There was no real point to that, just decided you guys liked doughnuts!" He twirled around and picked them both up whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I can say this cab is rare but I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air' LOLOLOLOL!
No really, he picked them both up and chucked them into the pipe where rather than hearing a thunk or being squished they fell right through and a "doop doop doop" sound echoed from the pipe. Looking into the pipe no trace of the two remained as the Grand masta of all things pastry and doughy laughed loudly and walked back to his pastry shop.
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Post by Ion on Oct 12, 2009 19:33:26 GMT -8
Just to make this official for both parties: ~Battle Complete~ *Porky the Pig pops his head through this topic and declares, "Th-th-th-That's All Folks!"* After all the adventures of Gush and Ion, this episode of An Oldie But a Goodie has come to a conclusion and is open to judging now.
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